Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a very rude bird? A mockingbird.
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe.
Why can't orphans have a big bag of chips?
Because they're family sized!
How did Gertie Gorilla make the Playboy magazine?
She was ape-ril!
What is a gorilla's favorite cookie?
It's chocolate chimp.
I caught my wife having s*x with another guy.
I put a magnet in my butthole and made the teachers smell it.
Straight people.
That's the joke.
Two (DYM 112)
My therapist once said, "time heals all wounds." So I stabbed him. Now we wait...
Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it.
Genders are a lot like the Twin Towers.
There used to be two, but now it’s just a sensitive topic.
Man: Hey kids, who wants milk?
Kids: Me!
Man: *unzips fly*
Me to my friend: I only date suicidal girls.
My friend: Why?
Me: Because that pussy is limited edition.
Dude, I lied.
What do you call an annoyed octopus?
Octopissy.
Brian has a crush on a cute girl, Sally, from school, so he goes and tells his dad about her, and he says, "Sorry, son, you can't like her; she is your sister." So Brian is okay with it, and he starts to like another girl, Madison, and he goes up to his dad and says, "I have a crush on this girl, Madison," and again the dad goes, "Oh, sorry, son, you can't like any girl in school; they are all your sisters." So he goes crying to his mom and says, "Dad said I can't like any girl because they are all my sisters," and the mom goes, "Oh, it's okay; you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad."
Sandwiches are yummy! 😋
I have a body count of 7.
I like chips.