I saw a beautiful homeless girl and asked if I could take her out on a date. She politely accepted and enjoyed herself. Soon after, I asked if I could take her home, she smiled and nodded her head. Her smile disappeared when she saw me running away with her cardboard box.
Worst Jokes Ever
Did you hear that Michael Jackson changed his name from Michael Smith? Well, at least he's honest.
It's only rape.
If she finds out.
I know I'm valuable, I come with a barcode ;)
99% of women kiss with their eyes closed, that's why it's so hard to identify the rapist.
What is red and very rare?
A child in a blender.
Why can orphans travel around so much? They never get homesick.
You ever hear of a reverse exorcism?
It's where the devil tells the priest to get out of the child.
Funny thing happened today, my dad came home from work which is weird cause he’s a suicide bomber.
"Wanna play the rape game?"
"No!!!!"
"That's the spirit!"
You know how in the movie, "Nightmare Before Christmas," they say they're making Christmas?
I thought Mary and Joseph did, but okay.
Imagine this... you're a lesbian, and you're doing it with your cannibal girlfriend. You say, "Eat me, baby!"
She pulls out a knife and fork.
After my wife died, I couldn't even look at another woman for 10 years.
But now that I'm out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it!
Why is it that when women decide to kill an unborn baby, it's a "CHOICE," but when I decide to drive my F-150 into a playground full of kids, it's called "MURDER"!
No means no, but if you use chloroform, it’s a guaranteed yes.
Why did Hitler kill himself?
His gas bill was too high.
I was gonna do a school shooter joke, but it was aimed at younger audiences.
I have a big cock.
How did Billy find out he was in a minefield?
He saw his dad's corpse holding a jug of milk.
My sister gives her hamster to my brother since she thinks I'm irresponsible, so I throw it out the window.
