Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a fake noodle? Impasta.
What does CNN stand for? The Counterfeit News Network.
What do an orphan and a homeless person have in common?
They have no one to call "Dad."
Why are the English so good at chess? Because their Queen never dies.
Why are Americans bad at chess? Because they have already lost two towers.
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
What do you say when going for a dunk in basketball?
"Kobe crash!"
My dad died in 9/11... He was the best pilot I know.
My grief counselor died the other day.
He was so good at his job, I don't even care.
A high school student and his best friend were rushing to class after his best friend caused them both to be late. His best friend asked, "Would you like to hear a joke?" "Sure," he replied. "What do you and your sister have in common?" "I don't know." "Because of me you're both late for your next period."
Yo mama's so fat, she wrestled a polar bear and won.
Hey, look, it's that "TRAINS gender" guy. He says, "I like trains." Uh oh!
Me: Mom, we made a cake.
Bully: Guess what?
Me: What?
Bully: Nobody cares!
Me: Yeah, nobody cares about you!
Two boys came home for dinner late, and their mother asked, "Where have you boys been?" One of them replied with, "We were all over the neighborhood, we're mailmen now." Their snobby teen sister said, "Well, you're not real mailmen, real mailmen use real letters." Then one of the boys said, "Actually, we used real letters, we found a whole box of them under your bed."
I wish my dad was home. I haven’t seen him since the shot of 2008.
What do humans and monkeys have in common? They both hang from trees.
This joke is short, or is it 🍭 that your LOL lipop?
Big
"Ow! You hit the spot!"
What do you call a group of Emos?
Suicide squad.