Worst Jokes Ever
Teacher makes 1 kid recite the ABCs and the other count to 10.
Teacher: You can kill 2 birds with 1 stone.
Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head.
Johnny at school: You can kill a bird and give a man a concussion.
How can a guy do stand up comedy in a wheelchair?
Some boy says 100000 digits of pi, and this other dude can't even remember the 1st one.
How to Make an Orphan cry
Step 1: Talk about Home.
Step 2: Ask them where their parents are.
Step 3: Say, "Bye Bye," and push them in the Batmobile!
Why can't orphans cross the street? Because they can't go home.
Orphans' calendar consists of 362 days. Why?
Because they don't got homecoming, Father's Day, and Mother's Day.
If I fantasize about fucking a UCP Cabinet Minister,
Does that mean I'm sexually Conservative?
If you give this a thumbs down, you're gay. If you give it a thumbs up, you're straight.
Look at my name and you'll see the joke (read it out loud).
This joke's short just like Joe Biden's penis.
Oh wait, if I were to make a joke to the size of Joe Biden's penis, I wouldn't write a joke.
Dark humor is like cancer, it's even funnier when kids get it.
Tis the season to be spooky.
How to be a hero.
1. Tie a noose in your front yard.
2. Find and capture a furry.
3. Hang that furry because they deserve it.
Itβs easy as 1-2-3!
What do you call a door hinge? A door hinge!
I was bullying an orphan, then I said, "What, you gonna run home and cry to your mom?"
I was in an argument with a "friend" at school. He said, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."
...so I threw a dictionary at him.
If messyourself was on the Titanic, he would die first.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to climb Mt. Dew.
One day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy, then they heard a sound from the bushes. Instead of looking down, they both ran.
Two years later, they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial. They asked him if he has ever been caught. He said, "No, but a couple was walking as soon as I killed a girl. I jumped into a bush. They didn't know I was there, but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down, then he and his girlfriend ran."
What do you call a fake noodle? Impasta.