Worst Jokes Ever
You look like the 0.01 percent of bacteria the Lysol didn't kill.
What's the difference between an orphanage and a supermarket?
People actually want stuff in a supermarket.
I called my mom on Alexa, and she told me, "Please take out the trash." I said, "But I can't, you're not here."
What is it called when someone is in a wheelchair and in a fire?
Hot Wheels...
Are you Jesus? Because I want to nail you.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the car.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
At least one of them gets picked.
Never kill an orphan, because then that will end their misery.
"I have good and bad news," the doctor said to his patient.
"Give me the good news first," the patient said.
"Your test results are back," the doctor said, "and you have only two days to live."
"That's the good news?" the patient exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"
"I've been trying to reach you for two days."
The twin towers are just like my mom and dad, they went to work and never came back.
Me: Hey, do you live in the ocean?
Random guy: Why?
Me: Because you look like a whale.
Can I put deez nuts in yo cluts?
I like my girls like my coffee: Flat and white.
Do you want to hear a joke?
You.
If I'm ugly, why do you always look at me when I come in the door?
Why did the man cut down the tree? Because it was there. 👨🪚🌲
Why didn't the man cut down the tree? Because it wasn't there. 😕🪚!?️
Why did the tree cut down the man? Because it was a bad tree. 🌲🪚😮
Y'know, I never knew Obi-Wan Kenobi participated in an anime, "Snow White with the Red Hair," up until now.
Mom, start eating, or else you will get fatter!
You wanna hear a construction joke?
I'm still workin' on it!
I know where you live! I saw you before!