Worst Jokes Ever

What's the difference between Batman and a gay person?

Batman has no one to call "daddy."

Kobe Bryant never missed a shot.

But he nailed that mountain.

What is one good thing about pedophiles?

They drive slow in the school zone.

What did the Teacher say to the orphan?

"I am calling your parents!"

When you find out your great grandpa killed Hitler.

What do you call an epileptic kid on cocaine?

An earthquake.

My mom said don't fuck whores.

So I kicked my step sis out the house.

My dad went to get milk from Tesco’s.

He never came back.

A guy is at his locker, and a girl comes and says, "Hey, I love you."

He says, "Okay, cool." She then replies and says, "Well, what do you think about our love?" He says, "Count the stars."

Then she says, "Oh, infinity!" and he replies with, "Nope, it's just a waste of time."

Why can't dwarfs be depressed?

Because they are compressed.

Me: I asked an orphan where his parents were. I also said that I promised to take him to them.

Orphan: They're dead.

Me: A promise made is a promise kept.

Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light!" she blocked the sun. Now we call her the moon.

EXPERIMENT SUCCESSFUL 😱😱 Scientists have created an element named Pessomium 😳😳

Characteristics: - Highly reactive only in Bolivia and Panama 😡🤬 - Turns invisible when in Brazil or Uruguay 🥵🤧 - Finished 😹🤕 - 0 protons 0 electrons 0 goals 0 assists 7 debuts 🥶

My mom tells me and my sister to stop fighting. "Mom! You and Dad need to stop!"

1.) What’s yellow and can’t swim?

- A bus full of children.

2.) Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy?

- He died of a yeast infection.

3.) I will never forget my grandad’s last words...

- “You’re still holding the ladder, right?”

4.) I have a fish that can breakdance...

- Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.

5.) Give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours...

- Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite beverage? Milk.

Yo mama's so ugly even cartoon cat eyes got little.

I'm so excited for Christmas Pudding... Pudding these nuts in your mouth.

I was born and raised in Newcastle.

My grandfather used to tell me stories about Penaldo, a goblin from Portugal that travels to England when Newcastle is playing. He scores a tapin and then disappears until the next Newcastle game. I still have nightmares that he’s in our stadium.