Worst Jokes Ever

When I saw Stephen Hawking for the first time, I knew he had been in a shop!!! I lieeeeeeeeed! 🤣🤣🤣

Mom: Son, where are my condoms?

Son: What are condoms?

Dad: She puts it on me and the sandwich.

Son: Wait, why did my girlfriend come over and take one?

Dad: Um, I don't know, but go to bed.

Son: But it's 2:46pm in the afternoon, bruh.

Yo mama so fat, I couldn't see the store.

Yo mama is so ugly, when she looked at the mirror, I cracked up.

Yo mama so ugly Donald Trump said "wrong!"

Yo, dad is so stupid, he brought the milk after two years, and he said, "Oh, sorry son. I'm going back to the store. Bye."

Bob, why are you kicking the kids?

What, it's not like they have a home to go to.

A: Why did Sally fall off the swing?

B: Why?

A: Because she has no arms.

Knock, knock.

B: Who's there?

A: Not Sally.

Joe was eating ice cream while walking on the street. He dropped his ice cream. Why?

B: I don't know, why?

A: Because Sally was driving the car.

what do you call a suicide bomber that loves water? a bath bomb.

Why is a wet pavement like playing music?

If you don't C sharp, you'll B flat.

What kind of exercise do lazy people do?

Diddly-squats.

What wastes your money as you earn it?

Women.

Yo mama's so fat, she's a feminist!

Women be like I don't wear makeup for men.

Then get mad when a man doesn't compliment her in her makeup!

Women be like, "Men's heights," then cry when they get called fat...

Your mum is so fat that when she sat on the toilet, she couldn't because her fat ass can't fit on the toilet seat.

Your mother is so fat, she broke the stairway to heaven when she died. jaja ur momma dead.

Once i was walking along the beach and there was a girl with no arms or legs there, i walked by and she said excuse me, will you touch me ive never been touched before, i was like okay so i touched her, i kept on walking along and there was the same girl, she said sir will you kiss me, i went alright so i went up and kissed her, i thought that was weird but anyway i kept walking along and there she was again, she said sir will you fuck me? I went okay so i picked her up and threw her in the ocean and went YOUR FUCKED NOW

I've recently been treated with Asthma and have been prescribed penicillin. One day I was taking it and a man screaming "SUIII" came into the room and stole it! He thought the penicillin would give him penalties. I couldn't breathe, shame on you Penaldo for ruining my life!