Why did the Lego cross the road? He was on the wrong block!
Worst Jokes Ever
My dad died in the attacks. He was the best pilot for Pakistan.
I don't joke about 9/11 because I lost my dad. He was the best pilot I ever knew.
What does an orphan not have in common with criminals?
Criminals are wanted.
Johnny, Johnny?
Yes, Papa.
Eating sugar?
Yes, Papa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing I can reach, and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and you’re mad at me for eating a little sugar.
Smoking? Telling lies?
Yes, Papa, you do all of those things because you’re a chronic addict.
A guy walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says, "If I can surprise you, I get a free drink." The bartender was unsure but agreed.
The guy pulled a 30cm long pianist out of his pocket, and he starts to play.
The bartender was surprised and gave the guy a free drink.
The guy then says, "You see, I have a little wizard in my pocket that grants wishes. Can I get another free drink if you get a free wish?"
The bartender agrees without hesitation.
The bartender wishes for 1000 bucks, but he gets 1000 ducks.
"WTF!" the man shouts.
The guy answered, "Did you think I wanted a 30cm long pianist?"
People say that they can read people's faces; then how come nobody sees me breaking inside?
Flat Earther pickup line: "The Earth may be flat, but Uranus is round."
I went to the principal's office because I gave a deaf kid ear pods for his birthday.
Why did 10 have trauma?
Because 10 was in the middle of 9/11.
I mess up goats for unicorns?
Jimmy the Unicorn or goat.
I don't even know.
What do the Mafia and pussies have in common?
One slip of the tongue, and you’re in deep shit.
Q: What’s the difference between apples and orphans?
A: Apples get picked.
Your hairline is so ugly, even Dora the Explorer can’t even do it.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
My friend's emo. I told her to play jump rope with me. She hanged herself. Lol.
I’d tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I only remember the punch line.
What candy loves shooting stars? Starbursts!
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
To buy a house.
Are people from Hamburg called Hamburgers?
