Worst Jokes Ever

I was going to make alligator last night, but I noticed that I only had a crock pot.😅

What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? You're not dead.

What was Stephen Hawking's favorite movie? Cabbage Patch Kids.

When your girlfriend tells you she's a guy: "What, bitch? Naw, hell no!"

Can you really wheel my real wheelchair?

Try saying that over and over fast. Bit of a tongue twister.

What does it say on Stephen Hawking's headstone?

R. I. P. Roll in Peace.

Why don’t orphans play the game of hide-and-seek?

They won’t be found because no one will look for them.

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

They don't know where home is.

What Stephen Hawking doesn't know about wheelchairs isn't worth knowing.

What has teeth but doesn't use them to chew? The answer would be a comb or a piano, but technically, if you ripped someone's teeth out and hand them to them, they have teeth but can't chew with them.

Why can you say "Kobe" even though you missed?

Because he didn't land either.

Knock knock.

You: Who's there?

Urmom.

Oh, ate the cheese? Urmom.

Stephen Hawking had a high I.Q., but still had to learn how to be disabled.

Hi, welcome to Mario's pizzeria/abortion clinic.

Where no fetus can beat us, and your loss is our sauce.

It puts a whole new spin on meals on wheels. No pun intended.

At least he always has a shoulder to cry on.

Who said, "That's a small step for man, a giant leap for mankind?"

Not Stephen Hawking.

What's another nickname for a flat emo?

A copping boars.

I'm writing a movie about 9/11. It's called "September 11th Two Thousand Fun."