Are you a knife?
Because I want to deep throat you.
Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a kid named Caitlyn?
My best friend.
What were Steven Hawking’s last words?
ERROR 101.
What did one butt say to the other?
Something brown is slithering down.
An Asian man walks into a bar in Australia. The bartender says to him “why are you here? Get back in that wing wong country.”
The Asian man says “I’m here traveling and now I’m gonna attack you with my 40 gallons of fried rice I’ve had in my pocket since wa dinowar wages. #wingwong”
A person could build a playground with your mood swings.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan?
It's not like they can tell their parents.
How is an emo kid’s wrist like Pink Floyd?
It’s all shitty until you reach the final cut.
Why do orphans not build houses in Minecraft? Because they want it to be realistic.
What's big, bounces, and makes little kids cry?
My donation to the orphanage :)
Can you imagine the last thing that went through the minds of 911 victims?
Well, probably their kneecaps.
Why do duckies wipe after they poop?
Their butt quack.
What did the hot dog say to the condom? "Hot dog condom style."
Ya momma is sus.
Why are orphans running around the world after the baseball coach said, "Go home"?
Because he didn’t know what the hell to do.
What happens when Rick Astley is getting an erection whilst singing "Never Gonna Give You Up"?
You get PRICKrolled.
My ex-girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus driver's license.
Why does every emo kid try to be like Tarzan? So they can swing on the vine.
Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day. Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”
Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.
“Jesus Christ almighty!” shouts Molly.
“Correct,” says the teacher.
The next day the teacher asks, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”
Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack’s pencil.
“Jesus Christ almighty!” she shouts.
“Correct again,” says the teacher.
The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.
This time the teacher asks her, “What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?”
Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams “If you stick that thing in me one more time I’m going to crack it in half!”
The teacher fainted.
At 5 years old, I already knew how to throw paper airplanes thanks to my Arabian relatives!
