Worst Jokes Ever
My biggest joke: I’d show you, but I don’t have a mirror to show you.
How does a tree access the internet?
By logging in and branching out!
Q: Why can you be rude to an orphan?
A: Because who are they gonna tell their parents?
What's tree plus tree? Sticks! (Three plus three equals six).
What is the worst thing to do at a funeral?
The corpse.
Why did Hitler kill himself? Cause gas prices were too high!
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home, LOL.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home plate.
What do you call a person with no arms?
Armless.
No, it's harmless.
I’ve got money and suicidal thoughts, and I’m all out of money.
Who is buried in the tomb of Alexander the Grape?
Alexander the raisin.
Your lips are so big, it turns the Grand Canyon sideways.
Yo mama is so old, she is the founder of the pyramid of Egypt.
Q: What does your Mama and a slinky have in common?
A: They aren't much to look at, but you can't help cracking a smile when you see it tumbling down the stairs.
"OK, son," he says. "It's as easy as counting to 5."
1. Pull down your pants. 2. Pull back your foreskin. 3. Pee in the toilet. 4. Put your foreskin back. 5. Pull up your pants.
From then on, every time the boy goes to the toilet, he counts from 1 to 5. One day, the father noticed his son was taking quite some time in the toilet. He went to check on him and overheard his son saying, "2,4,2,4,2,4,2,4."
What did one candle say to the other?
"Want to go out tonight?"
How many balls do you have on your body?
2. Your butt.
I'm bald.
Your hairline is more bent than your gender.