Today, I filmed an unboxing video at my friend's funeral.
His parents weren't too happy.
Worst Jokes Ever
What’s the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?
You only need 1 nail to hang a painting!
Hairline so big people had to time travel to find the end of it.
What’s black and at the top of a stair case?
Stephen Hawking during a house fire.
Yo mama so fat that when she took a selfie, she needed two phones.
Remember the name Ben Andrews.
Yo momma so fat, I took a photo of her last year and it's still printing.
When life gives you melons, You’re probably dyslexic.
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a homeless shelter?
You can shit a load inside of a prostitute, but if you try it in a shelter, you get arrested.
Why can't orphans use iPhones?
They can't find the home button.
I bet the emo kids are jealous when they go to a funeral.
Roses are red, I'm off the grid,
John Cena accidentally says "you can't see me" to a blind kid.
The power of yeet.
I can't do this - YEET!
I'm not good at this - YEET!
I'm not old enough - YEET!
Son: What's for dinner tonight?
Mom: Steak!
Son: Mom, you know I only eat veggies, so what's for me?
Mom: HUNGER!
Kid 1: Words can't describe how ugly you are.
Kid 2: Words can describe how beautiful you are.
Kid 1: Aw, thanks!
Kid 2: But numbers can. 0/10
Kid 1: I like you! Do you like me?
Kid 2: No. You never asked if I love you!
Kid 1: Aw, do you love me?
Kid 2: No!
So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.
When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"
He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."
Yo mama so fat, when she jumped, I didn’t laugh, but the floor cracked up.
Your mum is so cute that I asked for her number and she said yes, and now we're dating.
Girlfriend: "Would you still love me if I was a figment of your imagination?"
My schizophrenic ass: Of course I would.
