My friend: Hey, I got 15 kills!
Me: I got 60 kills!
My friend: I didn't know you played Call of Duty!
Me: What's Call of Duty?
Worst Jokes Ever
The way to stop school shootings is to give children an RPG.
What does a depressed person and a chicken have in common? They both try to fly.
I like my people how I like my tea...
In a bag under water.
So I saw a bag full of children near a dumpster. I guess we know where the orphans are when the parents didn’t want them.
Wouldn’t want to hope a Catholic priest comes along, otherwise the priest will have new sex toys.
Me: Truth or dare?
Crush: Dare.
Me: I dare you to give me your phone number.
Crush: Umm nevermind, truth.
Me: Ok, what is your phone number?
Daddy, where's my anus?
I got suspended for asking an emo kid if he wants to hang out with me.
"If we don’t have a strategy, then the enemy will never know our strategy."
-Sun Tzu, Art of War.
"If you want to win swiftly, camp the enemies' spawn."
- Sun Tzu
"You may not rest, there are monsters nearby."
-Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
"Jesus can turn water into wine, but I can turn your mother into mine."
- Sun Tzu, *The Art of Creating War*
"The naked man fears no pickpocket."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
"It's not a war crime if you win the war."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
Your hairline is so fat that when you meet Santa, you're fatter than him and your mom.
Your hairline is so bad even Ariana Grande stopped singing because of it.
Someone I know is an ant. I feel like a mountain to them.
What site does a vegetable go to when he/she is stressed?
cornhub.com
Your forehead is so big, you think in 4K.
You're so fat, you lasted a whole year on the cross just off of your fat.
