Your mum is so cute that I asked for her number and she said yes, and now we're dating.
Worst Jokes Ever
Girlfriend: "Would you still love me if I was a figment of your imagination?"
My schizophrenic ass: Of course I would.
What do you call a special police officer?
Officer down!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can't run home.
Why didn't the doctor help the orphan?
Because he was a family doctor!
Your mum is so fat, when she reached for the remote, when she found it, it was crushed.
One man's trash is another man's treasure, he said when he found out his parents split up and he is being adopted.
We clap when we see you. We clap our hands over our eyes.
Your family is so poor, when you knocked on the door for money, I offered you a penny, and when you knocked again, the rock answered and knocked you out.
Your mum is so fat, all her relationships are long distance.
Your mum is so overdue on eBay for £2 so she could get a male stripper.
Did you hear about the "Funny Doctor"?
He'll have you in "Stitches"!
Why do people never kick their own balls?
Because they might lose one!
"One man's trash is another man's treasure" is a great thing to say to someone; horrible way to find out you're adopted.
Turn the comments into a kindergarten fight.
Mom: Please eat, baby!
Baby: No!
Mom: Here comes the airplane!
What does the Trump administration use instead of emails? Alternative fax.
My friend and I were joking about a kid in a wheelchair, and another kid came up and said to the wheelchair kid, "You should stand up for yourself."
Orphan: Asks you random joke. What is the difference between my boomerang and my parents?
Me: The boomerang came back.
Your dad left for the milk because of your McDonald's hairline!
