Worst Jokes Ever

Nechen has been writing articles for the class for years.

Then the Guru asked him, "If I die now, what will be on my grave?" Fritchen searched for the plastic bag and shouted, "This is a protective bag!!"

"Come on, take the camera!"

"Isn't it clear?"

"Well, look!"

My husband wants to tell me about my childhood.

Ok, I can't access the panel without the password.

What did the builder say after the foundation?

"Employees!"

My sister looks like Santa Claus.

"You are so pretty?"

"No, too many people!"

Two blonde girls find a beautiful Christmas tree in the woods.

After two hours, someone said, "We found a tree without bark!"

Father: "Fritz, light the Christmas tree!"

What do you call a woman who sleeps with multiple men?

A whore.

Abortions are a way for whores to dodge accountability.

Smoking a fag in the UK means to smoke a cigarette.

Smoking a fag in the USA means to kill a homosexual.

"I think my baby is so similar to me!"

"True, but the most important thing is that he is healthy!"

Two needles go to the river. One of them says, "I'm sorry!"

I remember when I saw my dad's penis for the first time.

I said, "Dad, don't text me shit like that."

Did you know that soccer fields aren't made of 4 million crayons? They are actually made from grass. :)

A toaster and a slice of whole wheat bread sit together in the sauna.

After five minutes, the bread starts to sweat extremely and says: "Oh, I think I'm going to be a toast in here!"

The toaster just looks at it bored from the side and replies: "Don't get upset. I'm just here to really switch off."

Did you hear about the tourist that came to New York? Good, because they were a terrorist... When they were asked why they were traveling, they just mispronounced it.

How do terrorists feed their babies?

"Here comes the aeroplane!"

What is 6-inch long, in every men's pants or hands, and girls want?

- A smartphone, freak.

I just went to a Halloween party for rappers and rap DJs from the Czech Republic, and everyone was dressed in the same costume! I couldn't tell which witch was Wich!

What is a Christian's favorite social networking site?

Faithbook!