Q: Why did the trans man only eat salads?
A: Because he is a "herbefore."
Worst Jokes Ever
Doctor asks his patient, "What is your zodiac sign?"
Patient replies, "Cancer." Doctor says, "What a coincidence!"
Yo hairline so bent even Bob the Builder can’t fix it!
What is Michael Jackson's favorite instrument? Little skin flutes.
Mom: That's why your dad left you.
Me: Why?
Mom: I mean look at you, depressed, suicidal, and unhappy, always anxious, and other mental health issues.
Me: How is that my fault? You are a rude mom!
Mom: Your dad had a heart attack two weeks before you were born, because you are ugly!
(This actually did happen in real life.)
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it!
How does a cannibal start a wedding reception?
He toasts the groom.
Yo mama so stupid, she stared at a bottle of orange juice for 12 hours because it said "concentrate."
I don't struggle with depression, I'm used to it.
You're so poor that when you walked into an elevator, you thought it was a mobile home.
How can Canada be one of the most educated countries when Canadians are unable to correctly spell "analyse", "programme", and "aluminium"?
Yo mama so fat her yearbook picture was a double-page spread.
Turn the comments into a kindergarten fight.
Q: What do you call a shed full of black fellas?
A: Retired Farming Machinery.
Why is there only a glory hole in the handicapped stall in some public men's restrooms?
Because a gay man that is not physically handicapped can't receive a blow job from a gay man that is physically handicapped under the handicapped stall.
Yo mama so ugly, she got a lifetime ban from KFC for ordering too many burgers.
The only thing colder than Siberia is my girlfriend's ex!
Sometimes orphans can't win spelling bees because they don't know how to spell "home."
"You need to cease, all those fat cuz u obese."
Son: “Dad, did you get the results of the DNA test back?”
Dad: “Call me George.”
