9 jokes
My teacher got so mad at me for making 9/11 jokes, she hit me twice and I said, "Damn, got hit twice!"
Rape, 9/11, abortion, orphan, murder, dead, kill, drugs.
What makes all these categories so familiar? Either you've experienced them, or made them up in your backstory.
If 7 8 9, why was 10 scared?
Because he was between 9 11.
Who are the fastest readers in history?
9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in 10 seconds.
If you wait for a woman to get 9 months pregnant and kill her, you will never be able to stop the loop.
Math teacher
A girl is meeting this Muslim for a date, and she asks him, "So are you Indian?"
And the Muslim goes, "No, bitch, I ain't 7-Eleven, I'm 9/11!"
The last number of your like is the Amogus you get.
1: Amogus trollface
2: Frogus
3: Amogus in 2013
4: Chogus
5: Classic Amogus
6: Wait this isn't Amogus
7: Amogus drip
8: Amog sus
9: Amog stuff
Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers?
They can go through 100 floors in 7 seconds.
What’s the difference between 9/11 and a cow?
You can’t milk a cow for 15 years.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
Must be more than 9, my basement is still dark!
Biden: My girlfriend called me a pedophile. I said, "That's a pretty big word for a 9-year-old!"
Why was sis afraid of seven?
Cuz 7 ate 9.
What's 9 divided by 11?
Well, I know it's less than two alright!
Did you know about 9 months after a power outage 50% more babies are born because it is dark?
A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work, not aware that her 9-year-old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet. The boy now has company.
Boy: "Dark in here." Man: "Yes, it is." Boy: "I have a baseball." Man: "That's nice." Boy: "Want to buy it?" Man: "No, thanks." Boy: "That's my dad outside." Man: "How much did you say the baseball was again?" Boy: "$250."
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover are in the closet together.
Boy: "Dark in here." Man: "Yes, it is." Boy: "I have a baseball glove." Man: "That's nice." Boy: "Want to buy it?" Man: "No, thanks." Boy: "I think I just remembered something I needed to tell my dad." Man: "How much did you say the glove was again?" Boy: "$750." Man: "Fine."
A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball!" The boy says, "I can't. I sold them." The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?" The son says, "$1,000." The father says, "It's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."
They go to church and the father alerts the priest and makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here." The priest says, "Do not start that shit again!"
Why was 10 afraid?
He was in the middle of 9/11.
Have you heard the 9/11 joke yet?... It was pretty fire.
What did the planes say when they were smashing or passing the Twin Towers?
Smash.
(Get it?) 9/11.
If 6 was afraid of 7 because 7 ate 9, then why was 10 afraid?
Because 10 was in the middle of 9/11.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims: they went through a hundred stories in 10 seconds.