99 jokes

When the Lego box says 6-99 years but you eat it in 20 minutes.

99% of women kiss with their eyes closed, that's why it's so hard to identify the rapist.

I've got 99 problems and one of them is that I count my problems instead of solving them.

Did you know there was a record for the quickest time to finish a story? The day it was set was 9/11. 99 stories in .4 seconds.

I got 99 problems but a chin ain't one.

Why did Paul Walker regret turning in his test?

Because his grade went from 99 to 0 in less than a second.

99% of Roblox usernames be like: bdiejfbsie3hdiejdbisie882jeoxnd, by yYidgJyeuzyei73*-;ujduzjehzisjd, and j73heisbdjJd3nakwnwo2jdieneidjd.

Why was Stephen Hawking so good at FIFA? He had 99 dribble.

Today we need to teach our teens about having safe sex while using contraceptives.

Condoms 99 percent effective.

Birth control 99 percent effective.

Etc.

Just be like me and use underage 7 year olds works 100 percent of the time (only cost 20 years in jail ;)

What are Africans composed of?

99% Coca-Cola.

The cashier kicked me out because when he asked for 99 cents, I gave him 99 scents.

"Banjo players spend half their lives tuning... and the other half out of tune."

I'm a banjo picker, and I can confirm this is 99% true.

What did Jay Z say when he got pulled over?

"I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one!"

My grandma's got 99 problems, but a fat butt ain't one of 'em.

I (DYM 99).

If Stephen Hawking had a FIFA card, he would have 99 dribble.

If Stephen Hawking had a FIFA card, he would have 99 dribbling.

(Titanic ll) yeah boyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy :) (iceberg) ok at least there isn't 99 more titanics (99 more titanics pop up) yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh boy:) (iceberg) :(

If Stephen Hawking had a FIFA card, he would have 99 dribble.