14

14 jokes

Black Hole

Stephen Hawking is better than NASA. They study black holes that are 8 billion years old, while he was down here on Earth staring at 14-year-old black holes. 😈😈😈

Pedophile

What type of file do you need to turn a 14 centimeter hole into a 40 centimeter hole?

A pedophile.

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  • Pedophile

    What did the pretty young pre-pubescent 14 year old boy say when he got a homosexual pedophile for Christmas?

    He said he was awfully touched!

    Fetus

    What’s the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus?

    They’re both saying “Oh my god my mom’s gonna kill me!”

    Uncle

    What's the most between my uncle and aunt?

    My aunt waited until I was 14 to come on my face.

    Memes

    Grandpa

    Me: What's the difference between me and my grandpa?

    Friends: What?

    Me: I've been alive for the past 14 years.

    iPhone

    I saw a kid with no phone. I gave him an iPhone 14.

    Except it had no home button.

    Orphan

    What’s an orphan’s favorite phone? An iPhone 14 'cause it doesn’t have a home button.

    Wife

    My screen lock is my favorite picture of my wife. When I'm on a 14-hour shift, being miserable, hating my life... I pull out my phone and gaze at the picture of my wife. Then I realize it's better here than at home with her ass.

    Death

    Due to her death, you can no longer get a letter from the Queen when you turn 100.

    Instead, you now receive a text from Prince Andrew when you turn 14.

    Robot

    Mother, father, and a son. Father purchased a robot that can detect lies. The robot slaps when you lie.

    During dinner time: Father: Son, what have you done today? Son: I watched Netflix, Dad. Robot: Stood up and slapped the son! Son: Okay! Okay! I watched porn, Dad. Dad: What? You watched porn? You are only 14! I never knew porn till I was 18 years of age. Robot: Stood up and slapped the Dad! Mother: Started to laugh and said "Sure he is your son!" Robot: Stood up and slapped the mother!

    Hehe

    Pizza

    Q: What's the difference between a folk singer and a 14" pizza?

    A: The pizza can support a family of four.

    Inch

    What is 14 inches long and starts with D?

    A Dookie From GREEN DAY

    Wrist

    My 14 year old daughter went shopping at a grocery story.

    She gets to the register and she asked the cashier to scan her scarred wrist.

    The cashier scanned it and replied with, "Ma'am this item is worthless."

    Fetus

    What do a 14 year old and the fetus inside her both think?

    "Man, my mom's going to kill me!"

    Scarecrow

    1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

    2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.

    3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”

    4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.

    5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.

    6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.

    7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.

    8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.

    9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

    10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.

    11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).

    12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.

    13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.

    14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.

    15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.

    16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.

    17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.

    Bubble

    Wanna hear a clean one?

    Old man takes a bath with bubbles.

    Wanna hear a dirty one?

    Bubbles is the 14 year old next door.

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  • Note

    Note to all.

    My name is Lariah. Lariah Carla Brown, 14 years old and I am 1 of triplets. I don't understand how rape jokes are funny, and I just want to make that statement clear. I also hate orphan jokes because I WAS one. Notice when I put WAS! I also see jokes about cancer, now I know you can't be kidding. You know that cancer is a disease that many people get and could die from, so you are just wrong about that!