Yours jokes
Dad: Here you go son, all your toys have gone to the orphanage.
Son: Why, Dad?
Dad: You would be bored there if there was not anything to do.
Teacher: I’m gonna call your parents.
Orphan: Go on, see if they pick up.
I like your mom naked.
That chromosome gon' leave just like your hairline. 😗😮😮
When you're watching "Gnomeo and Juliet 2" and your dad walks in on the gnome shaking his butt.
Your sister is so ugly that she made an onion cry.
Your mom is so fat that when she saw Moby Dick, she said, "We are family... even though you're bigger than me."
Do you know Candice?
Nope.
Candice dick fit in your mouth.
Do you know Mike Hawk? No, who is he? Mike Hawk in your MOUTH!
I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said, "What happened to all the parents?" She sounded so confused, so I told her, "It's only yours, kid, they left you on purpose." She cried. I felt bad for a second and thought, oh well, time to get back to my job at the orphanage.
Your mum is so fat, when I was driving I had to swerve to avoid [her]. By the time I had finished, I had ran out of gas.
(amazing pick up line) Yoo, what if we got matching tattoos? You get two towers and I get a plane, because I crashed right into your life!
Imagine working at the World Trade Center, only for Osama bin Laden to call and ask if he could crash at your place.
Q: What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
A: You slap her.
Drinking coffee when you're anxious is about as effective as using gasoline to put out a fire, but slurp slurp guess who's an anxious bitch who never learns.
Teacher: Your bag is heavy, what's in there?
The quiet kid: AK-47.
What does a disabled disco play?
"When your legs don’t work like they used to before."
Teacher: "I'll call your mother."
Orphan: "Go on, see if she picks up."
Your mama was so fat that she sunk the Titanic!
OnlyFans, but it’s me smacking your baby daddies with Twisted Tea.
Only Cans.