Yours jokes
Jeffy: "Daddy, Daddy, a monster said it’s gonna poop in your hat!"
Marvin: "I don’t believe that."
Jeffy: "But he said, 'Jeffy, I’m gonna poop in your Daddy’s hat!'"
The next morning,
Jeffy: "Daddy, a monster pooped in your hat!"
*Marvin/Mario looks in his hat*
Marvin: "Jeffy, I don’t believe you, you pooped in my hat!"
Little Brown Bear (LBB): Why did Santa take the kitty and all of my toys, Mummy?
His mom: Maybe because you're the second most massive shit stain besides Caillou.
*Krampus comes down the chimney to eat LBB*
Krampus: Should’ve been better, Little Bear.
LBB: Help, Mummy! He’s the Scratchy monster!
Shrek: Just kidding, it’s not Krampus, but indeed me and Black Donkey instead, and we’re going to poop on your floor.
Duggie: Hopefully Marvin doesn’t see us, and by the way, want some purplish Kool-Aid?
Trump: Caillou, can you please stop whining? That squirrel didn’t just eat our pizza, he also ditched your dad, and he’s your stepdad now.
Caillou: Why I’m bald, Trumpy?
Trump: I don’t know, but what I do know is that you’re a massive shit stain.
Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a big forehead, and your hairline recedes too.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. And your mom is, too.
Roses are red, I have a blister, holy shit did you just cum in your sister?
Roses are red. Watches are gold. Get on your knees and do what you're told.
What were the last words of your grandma in 2020?
"Oh, I think I forgot my mask!"
Your mamma is so dumb, she went to the dentist to get Bluetooth.
What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?
I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
Roses are red, flowers naturally cannot be black.
I heard that your dad's in jail for selling crack!
Did you get your phone from the desert? No wonder why your texts are always so dry.
Roses are red, your eyes are brown; never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.
Son: Dad, I have black skin and you have white skin, are you sure you're my parents?
Dad: Oh... well I never thought it would come to this, or to your head that you were kidnapped...
Son: Am I kidnapped?
Dad: Well, you're adopted, and if you want to see your biological parents, they’ll be waiting for you in heaven.
Do you know you’re supposed to wash your sex toys after you use them?
I guess that’s why Catholics invented baptism.
Sophia matched with a midget on Tinder.
Midget: Hey! What’s up?
Sophia: Well technically everything is, from your perspective!
Your race's favorite Star Wars Characters:
Arab...Admiral Ackbar (Allahu Akbar)
East Asian...Qui-Gon Jinn (Ching-Chong-Wing-Wong)
Jew...Rey (Ray)
Black...BB-8 (BBC)
Italian...Jabba the Hutt (Pizza Hut)
German...Admiral Piett (Hitler)
You know Mark once said, "Go away, Freddy, or I'll suck your dick!"
How do you know you’re at a gay church?
Half the congregation is kneeling.
Your gene pool is more like a gene puddle.