You're

You're jokes

Guy

Adoption

Hey, guy, you suck! Why do I suck? Because you're the one that's sucking juice out of a straw.

Little Timmy

A school shooter enters a kindergarten classroom. Little Timmy says, “He’s my daddy!”

The teacher, Mr. Mortez, screams. Little Timmy then says, “Mr. Mortez, my daddy says you’re a big fat whale and he wants to roll you all the way to Canada!” *pushes Mr. Mortez* Little Timmy says, “Hail f**king Canada!”

Police

Knock, knock.

(Who’s there?)

It’s the police, ma’am, your son got hit by a drunken driver. He’s dead.

Problem

Remember kids, if you're in a big problem, yell SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEËEEEEEEEEĒEEEEĘEEEEEEEEESH!

Memes

Mark

You know Mark once said, "Go away, Freddy, or I'll suck your dick!"

Hairline

Your hairline is so fat that when you meet Santa, you're fatter than him and your mom.

Dollar

If you had a dollar for every time someone said you're ugly, you'd meet someone who wouldn't say you're ugly.

Forehead

Your forehead is so big that Mastermind thought you were his long lost brother!

Fat

You're so fat, when someone calls you fat, you get depressed and cut you a slice of cake.

Child Support

Son, why do I not have an Easter basket?

Mom, you're 23, you don't need one. Ends calls, child support.

Hairline

It looks like Will Smith slapped your hairline so hard that the dinosaurs can see it now.

Orphan

If you're ever bored just fuck some orphans, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?