You're jokes
What’s the difference between a thief and a pervert?
One will snatch your watch, the other will watch your snatch.
If you're fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?
Your hairline design was used as the Batman logo!
How to get rid of your depression:
1. Stop self-pitying.
2. Realize you can't.
3. Fucking deal with it.
You're welcome.
What is your summer name? Hot.
When your baby is stillborn and you have a funeral, what song should you never play?
Alphaville - "Forever Young."
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm in your apple!
I got up one day; my neighbor was in my house and was going to take me and my mom out. I showed my mom and my neighbor a trick. They both liked it. I asked my neighbor, "Do you know any tricks?" He said, "Yes, in matter of fact, I could tell you what your mom had for breakfast." I said, "How?" Well, my neighbor licked my mom's ass and ate her pussy out in front of me. He told me my mom had pancakes. So we were in the car; I asked my neighbor, "How did you know what my mom had pancakes for breakfast?" My neighbor said, "Well, that is what your mom made me while we were waiting for you to get up."
Orphan: I wish to be like Batman.
Genie: Your wish is granted.
Orphan goes home. His parents are dead.
Your mama is so fat, One Punch Man had to punch twice.
Your life.
Your mom is so ugly, she made the devil go to church.
I'm not saying you're stupid.
But you're the reason plastic bags come with the warning, "Do not place over head!"
If you’ve got depression, then your life is a joke. Everyone laughs at both.
If your corona test shows two lines, is that then positive or negative?
So in class, they were learning about where food comes from:
Teacher: So kids, where does bacon come from?
Student: PIGS!
Teacher: Correct. Where does mutton come from?
Student: SHEEP!
Teacher: And finally, here’s your homework.
Student: IK where that comes from!
A FAT COW! 😂😂
Dad: Ok son, if you fail this test, you're no longer my child, ok?
Son: Ok dad.
AFTER TEST
Dad: Hey son, how'd the test go?
Son: Son?
A patient walked into a psychiatrist's office last week wrapped in nothing but Saran Wrap. The psychiatrist said, "I can clearly see your nuts."
"You have your entire life to be an idiot. Why not take today off?"
Girl: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles, and lighten your burden."
Boy: "It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles."
Girl: "Well, that's because we aren't married yet!"