You're

You're jokes

And to the parents of the lost boy named Timmy, we have found him, and now is your chance to make your escape. He really is a little shit, isn't he?

Welcome onboard Sexist Airlines. Everyone, please fasten your seatbelts now as we are switching to a female pilot.

  • 3

    • I love it when your parents come round for Christmas. I just wish we couldn't hear them through the ceiling.

    Well, we've removed all of the excess fat from your body, and all that's left, I'm afraid, is the wig, Mrs. Trump.

    A man comes into the pharmacy to get a flu shot. The pharmacy nurse prepares one of the shots. The man gets the shot, and the nurse cleans the shot area.

    The next day, the man comes back and gets another shot. Before he paid, the nurse said, “Don’t you realize if you get another shot you may die from overdose?” The man said, “Don’t you realize if you don’t shut up I’ll give you a shot of lead?” The nurse got scared and quit her job.

    The nurse was relaxing, looking for a vacation to book, when all of a sudden she hears an odd noise. It sounds like someone cocking a gun. The man was hiding behind the nurses bushes. “In return for you giving me shots, here are yours,” said the man as he was chuckling like a psycho. The man shot the nurse in the leg so she couldn’t escape, then he shot her left hand, which is the lady’s dominant hand, so she couldn’t call the cops. For the finishing move, the man curb stomped the fucking life out of her until her head was as flat as paper.

    9 years later......

    All along, this man, this psycho, escaped a mental hospital. He went on mass genocide, killing 20,000 people in just 3 years. This man is more than human, more than alien, more than god himself. It was Satan reborn.

    Bully: I'm going to hurt you so bad.

    You: Well, your IQ is the same amount of teeth I'm about to knock out, so... you're so dumb that you don't even know how to do that.

    And your IQ is 5.

    Bully: I'm going to hurt you so bad.

    You: Well... your IQ is the same amount of teeth I'm about to knock out, so... you're so dumb that you can't even do that.

    And your IQ is 5.

  • 1

    • Hey, you person who's scrolling, please leave your HONEST opinion on life. Do you think "life sucks" or "eh, it's okay," etc.? It can be short; if you don't want to, then that's okay.

    What do you say to your pony when it's being wild?

    Stop horsing around!

    What's the hardest thing to do?

    Not kill your siblings. (Put the knives away ">:)")

    Mom: Hey you! What are you doing?!

    Me: Nothing, why?

    Mom: You're supposed to do your ______.

    Me that/every night: *sob*

    Friends: Are you okay?

    Me: Yeah, fine.

    Me in head: Or maybe I'm not okay...