You're jokes
Imagine working at the World Trade Center, only for Osama bin Laden to call and ask if he could crash at your place.
Q: What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
A: You slap her.
Drinking coffee when you're anxious is about as effective as using gasoline to put out a fire, but slurp slurp guess who's an anxious bitch who never learns.
Teacher: Your bag is heavy, what's in there?
The quiet kid: AK-47.
What does a disabled disco play?
"When your legs don’t work like they used to before."
Teacher: "I'll call your mother."
Orphan: "Go on, see if she picks up."
Your mama was so fat that she sunk the Titanic!
OnlyFans, but it’s me smacking your baby daddies with Twisted Tea.
Only Cans.
The double slit experiment shows light particles are a wave that assemble in your presence. And you didn't even have to say a word!
Little Johnny was watching TV when he heard the TV say "bitch" and "bastard." He went over to his dad and said, "What is a bitch and bastard?" His dad looked at him surprised and said, "A bitch is a female, a bastard is a mailman." Johnny went back to the TV and heard them say "ass" and "shit," so he goes back to his dad and asks, "What shit and ass mean?" His dad says, "A shit is shaving cream like what I'm putting on my face, and ass is a coat, why don't you bug your mom?" Johnny goes back to the TV and hears them say "fuck," so Johnny goes over to his mom and says to her, "What does fuck mean, mom?" She looks over at him and says, "Fuck means carving, like what I'm doing to this turkey!" A few minutes later, Johnny hears a knock on the door. He walks over and answers it. He then says, "Welcome bitch and bastard, may I take your ass?" The people, looking horrified, then ask where his parents are. Johnny responds with, "My dad is putting shit on his face and my mom is fucking the turkey!"
How do women make you a millionaire?
When you're a billionaire.
I didn't know that COVID-19 was a thing until I saw your eyebrows and your hairline social distancing.
How do you know if your sister's on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes funny.
What's worse than fingering your sister?
Finding your dad's wedding ring inside her.
What do my cock and money have in common?
Your mom.
How many dicks can fit inside of a hooker? I don't know, ask your wife.
I saw your mom at work the other night. She was talking about how good she was doing.
Hands down, best $20 blowjob ever.
When you find out the stripper you're banging is a hooker, but you're saving money, so it's okay.
The woman had a dick, lol, it's your mom ahahahahahaha, yeah YOU! Jhon man! In New York City I am on to you! I will be under your bed tonight lol get a bodyguard!
Is that a mirror in your pants? Cause I can see myself inside them.
Grandma: You guy's generation is on too much technology.
Kid: Well, you're the ones that raised us.
Other family members: ...