Your mom jokes

Your mom walked into a bar and broke all the furniture.

Your mom's a lead, Poe.

Johnny was watching TV when he heard them say "bitch" and "bastard," so he asked his dad, "What is a bitch and bastard?"

Dad said, "A bitch is a female, and a bastard is a male."

Then Johnny goes back to the TV and hears them say "ass" and "shit," so he asks his dad what "shit" and "ass" means. Dad says, "A shit is shaving cream, like what I'm putting on my face, and ass is a coat. Why don't you bug your mom?"

So Johnny goes back to the TV, and then they say "fuck," so Johnny asks his mom what "fuck" means. Mom says, "Fuck means carving, like doing to the turkey." Then a few minutes later, Johnny hears a knock on the door, so he answers it. He then says, "Welcome, bitch and bastard, may I tack your ass?" The people then ask where his parents are. Johnny says, "My dad is putting shit on his face, and my mom is fucking the turkey."

Your mom has a bone to pick with me.

I'm going to your mom's house. Can you help me, planet?

Your mom is so fat she won't be in a coffin when she dies. She won't fit in it.

Kid: Are you gay?

Me: No, I'm straighter than the pole your mom dances on.

What do you call it if your mom is a guy and your dad is a woman?

Transparent.

Your dick is so small it's the size of a tic tac. Oh, that's why your mom's breath was so fresh last night.

What's the difference between your mom and your dad? One leaves your life to go get milk, and the other cleans up after you, feeds you, and does your laundry.

Q: What do you call a tsunami?

A: Your mom's water breaking.

Your mom's just like a penny. Practically worthless, and in everyone's pants.

What is it called if your mom does not make it to your birth?...

An abortion.

Your mom's my dad. Think about that!

Why are mountains so cold?? Your mom lol.

Today I explain what things are fake: serial killers, clowns, Billy, fairies, your life, God, Jesus, your mom, and all your crappy fan-fictions about being saved from your even crappier life.

I'm also gonna explain real stuff: YouTube, your dad, scientists, teachers, God, Jesus, and Billy.

Stuff on both is real and fake depending on who you are. Your life IS fake. A lot of idiots will read this.

I love your mom and dad's joke! They made it together and called it your name.

What do you call a boy in your mom?

Your dad.

If life was like Pacific Rim, I'd say your mom's pussy was a category 5.

When your mom tries to hit you with the belt but misses and hits herself... #victoryroyale