You jokes

Sex

    • Day 70 without sex, my doctor asked me, "Are you sexually active?" I said, "Why, what you tryna do?"

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    • Name

    • A girl asked her mom, "Why is my name Walmart?"

    Her dad replied and said, "Because that’s where you were made."

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    • Plan

    • What's the difference between you and me?

    I have a plan for this new year.

    So long, suckers. Keep scrolling.

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    • Foreskin

    • Don't you just hate it when your grandmas always complaining about things getting stuck between her false teeth, like my foreskin?

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    • Wife

    • My wife's always nagging me. "You don't let me have any friends, I abuse her, and I'm always coming back late." So I thought I would treat her. I popped up in the attic and introduced her to two women.

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    • Carpet

    • My wife said, "Why oh why have you ordered carpet, our house is lovely?"

    Thankfully the carpet was put to good use in the end, no more stupid comments coming from a rolled up Emily in the bottom of the ocean!

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    • Animal

    • My girlfriend said to me, "Dear, I think you have hit an animal, there's blood and dents all over the bonnet."

    I said, "No, love, I'm not waiting for a Black Lives Matter rally."

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    • Butt crack

    • A teacher walked up to me and said, "How did we get butt cracks?"

    I was like 4, so I said, "You had an earthquake on your booty."

    Bootylicious lol

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    • Orphan

    • Me: You know your parents were very good people.

    Orphan: Wow, I didn’t know that.

    Me: I know, you're an orphan.