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What do you call two terrorists standing next to each other with their dicks out?

The Twin Towers.

You heard of the Pixar movie "Up," but have you heard of "Down, Down," the 9/11 terrorist attack?

The youngest of the Twin Towers said, "Goodbye, brotha." But the one who got hit, which is the oldest, said, "If I go down, you go with me!"

I went to a tall girl and I asked her, "What do you do for a living?" She says, "An account." So I reply with, "An accounting the hairs on people's heads," and then I run away.

STORY OF 2 PEOPLE NOT ME:

Girlfriend: What would you do if I won the lottery?

Boyfriend: I would take half and leave you.

Girlfriend: Ok cool. I won 12 dollars here's 6 and don't come back.

A cop pulls a man over and finds out he's drunk. So he asks for license and registration, and the drunk man says, "Can I see your flashlight?"

The cop says, "Just give me your license and registration." So drunk guy says, "Not until you give me your flashlight."

The cop said, "For what?" and the drunk guy says, "So I can shine it in your face and see what an asshole looks like."

Did you hear about the guy who made the knock-knock joke?

He won the "no bell" prize.

Did you know the Alabama Crimson Tide University has the most handicapped people? You know their motto, "Roll Tide."

What do a penis and a Rubik's Cube have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

I was going to make a rape joke, but I don’t think you would’ve given me consent.

Hello everyone, I would just like to apologize for participating in the protest and everything else I said. I was wrong and have recently found a way to see all these jokes as funny. I hope that you all can forgive me. ALYA

What did the receptionist at the sperm bank say when you were leaving? "Thanks for coming!" 😉😉

Do you know why orphans can't get married?

Because they will never get their parents' blessing.