You are so skinny that the only difference between you and a leaf is color.
You Jokes
If you take off the first and last letter of "demon," they're gonna turn emo.
What do you call a ball with no hair? A Mexican ball.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on a bungy jump?
Spasticelastic.
What do you call Stephen Hawking in a burning building?
Hot Wheels.
I'm throwing an orgy for people on antidepressants.
Let me know if you can't cum.
A man died and went to heaven. Every time you cheat, you get a worse car.
The first man cheated 5 times; he got a Jeep. The second man cheated 3 times; he got a BMW. The third man never cheated; he got a Lamborghini.
The second man saw the third man sad. He said, "Why are you sad?" The third man said, "I saw my wife with a scooter."
You call it a school shooting.
I call it an unfair shootout.
Why is vegetable soup hard to cook? Because you can't fit the wheelchair in!
What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum?
A meltdown.
"Aren't you going back home now?"
"No, I am going back home."
What did the farmer say to the pig? "You snout to believe it!"
What do you call a terrible bus company?
Stagecoach Highlands.
You're so goddamn stupid, you thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 8, 9.
Do you know why 10 was scared? Because he was between 9/11.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Disabled.
Hello. What can I get you? A knife, mustard, Marella, gorilla?
What do you call a kid going fast on a wheelchair?
Hot Wheels.
Did you know Helen Keller had a dollhouse in her backyard?
No, and neither did she.
What happens when you fail to be an emo? You don't make the cut.
