If you humped a whale, it would humpback.
So, a daughter asks her father, "Dad, what is your opinion on abortions?" Her father says, "Why don't you ask your sister?" The daughter responds, "But I don't have a sister... Oh."
Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exercise. They got up into the air and Jim said, "Okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want." Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, "I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire." Allyn said "What?" as he looked over at Jim.
Two cannibals are eating a clown, when one cannibal looks up and asks the other cannibal: "Does he taste funny to you?"
What do you call a washed vegetable?
A disabled kid that needs a towel.
Someone told me that you can let out all your anger by writing letters about everyone you hate and then burning them... But I was just wondering... should I keep the letters?
What do you call a group of ethnically diverse disabled people?
Seasoned vegetables.
What can you serve but never eat? A volleyball.
I have a great job for you, but you have to start it off...
Knock, knock...
Who's there?
I don't know?!?
What do you call a bum person with a brain?
A hillbilly.
My friend wanted to say egg puns, so I told him, "Omelette you do your egg jokes."
There is a young man smoking and a woman in a wheelchair. The woman says, "Why is a young man like you smoking?" The man turns around and says, "Why the fuck are you wearing trainers?"
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house? No, he hasn't either.
My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year?”
I said, “Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!”
How do you stop a baby from crying?
Throw a brick in its mouth.
What do you call a Spanish footballer without legs?
Gracias.
If you give a gator a GPS, does that make it a navigator?
What do you call a retard?
Kahin
Hey babe, I’m looking to get 23 years in 23 seconds, can you help?
What is the difference between a whore and an onion?
You don't cry when you chop a whore.
