Worker jokes

I saw a kid on the curb. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working at the orphanage!

Azibo works 10 hours a day in the sun and is paid 1 euro an hour. Thanks to a fundraiser we will be able to raise the necessary funds to buy a whip to make him work twice as much.

I got fired from the M&M Factory because I sorted out the W's.

So I went up to a crying kid and asked, "Where's your mommy?"

God, I love working at an orphanage.

I saw a kid crying in the corner. I asked them where their parents are. Man, I love working at an orphanage!

Today I feel Qatari. Today I feel Arab. Today I feel African. Today I feel gay. Today I feel disabled. Today I feel a migrant worker.

I saw a kid crying, so I asked him where his parents were, and he started crying more.

Anyway, working at an orphanage is fun.

Why were the Twin Towers workers disappointed? Because they ordered a ham and cheese, but all they got was a plane.

One time I saw a kid crying, so I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working at an orphanage!

Three men met on a nude beach. Two of the three men were happy, but the third was sad.

The three men broke into a conversation. The topic eventually reached the men's jobs, and why they were at the beach.

"I'm a construction worker," said the first man. "All year long I toil in the sun in very heavy clothes, so this seemed like the perfect vacation for me. If I can relax and do it naked, that's a win-win."

"I'm an accountant," said the second man. "I just like how everyone here is dressed exactly the same."

The first two men turned to the third, sad man. "What do you do?" they asked.

"I'm a pickpocket," said the third man. "My doctor sent me here."

I was exploring the Dubai trophy factory when someone came crashing in. It was him, Pristiano Penaldo. He held the workers at gunpoint, forcing them to make him another plastic Mickey Mouse award or he will dive and sue them for assaulting him. Shame on you, pendu!

I saw a kid crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working in an orphanage.

Someone who was working in the tower must've put their phone on plane mode.

Just accidentally emailed a porn link to a co-worker... So I emailed ten other co-workers the link and called it a virus.

I saw a little kid crying because he was lost. I asked him, "Where are your parents?"

God, I love working in an orphanage!

Michael Jackson goes to his favorite bakery and says to the workers, "This is my favorite baker, hehe."

I saw this kid sitting on the sidewalk and asked him where are his parents?

I love working at an orphanage.

I kept asking these kids where their parents are, and they started crying. I walked away laughing, thinking I love my job at an orphanage.

A young family moved into a house next to a vacant lot.

One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.

Eventually the construction crew more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.

At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing ten dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take her $10 "pay" to the bank the next day to start a savings account.

When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own paycheck at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us."

"Oh, my goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"

The little girl replied, "I will, if those assholes at Lowe's ever deliver the fucking sheet rock!"

I saw a kid crying in the corner of the room and I said, "Are you OK? Where are your parents?" and he started crying even more.

I love working in an orphanage.