My best friend is transgender; she transitioned from a man into a woman. I think it's courageous of her to take a pay cut like that.
Work Jokes
How does a booty stay in shape?
It works its glutes off!
I remember my first day back when working at a camp. I was so surprised when the trains arrived.
What do you call a rapper who works in the bakery?
DOUGH-KNIGHT
Why did the booty get a job?
To make ends meet!
Why do people hit their electronics when they don’t work?
You keep the tradition of hitting black things.
How are Black people like communism?
Because they’ll never work, but some of them are willing to give it a shot.
Why did the frog take the bus to work?
His car got toad.
I bought my fat wheelchair son a treadmill for his birthday, then that big brainless special motherfucker cried over it and threw a fit cuz his fat special ass couldn't get up out of his wheelchair and said for Jesus to raise him up and give him working and movable legs.
A buddy and I checked out some books from a local library. When we returned them, he said, "Your sister works the returns, right?" I told him, "Yes, she does, and she will be here in about five minutes." He said, "Why don’t we put a cookbook in the women’s sports section?" I told him, "I love it!" So I picked out a Reese Witherspoon book.
A husband comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network. The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can’t cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can’t fuck."
Why did Daveon get fired from his job at the orange juice factory? Because he couldn't concentrate.
Why did the rapper go to therapy?
To work on his FLOW ISSUES.
I don't know what makes BlessedBrian so STUPID, but it REALLY works!
My screen lock is my favorite picture of my wife. When I'm on a 14-hour shift, being miserable, hating my life... I pull out my phone and gaze at the picture of my wife. Then I realize it's better here than at home with her ass.
Why did the rapper become a plumber?
Because he wanted to lay down some SICK PIPES!
Why did the rapper go to the gym?
To work on his flex rhymes!
What do you call a white woman working at an all black company?
Crack/her
What does your mom say when she is working?
Nothing, it's rude to talk with your mouth full.
Dave got a new job at the suicide hotline.
The manager shows him to his desk and Dave has a seat.
The manager says, "Remember! Your job is to make sure that the person at the other end of the line does not kill himself, no matter what! That's the one thing you have to do!"
Dave says "No problem! I will do exactly what you just told me!" and the manager leaves him to his job.
A few minutes, later Dave's phone rings.
"Hello?" Dave answers. No response for a few seconds, then a voice appears.
"My wife cheated on me," a man says. The man on the other end of the line is clearly depressed.
"I'm sorry to hear that," Dave says.
"I found out that she's been doing it for months; she says I don't treat her well enough. She's filing for divorce and threatening to take the kids from me. I don't know what to do. I just took up drinking and gambling, the pain goes away at first but it always comes back. I don't think I can even afford to see a psychiatrist; money is tight as it always is. I wish I could manage my finances better... I just don't see any way out. I think the only thing I can do that makes sense is to just kill myself."
Dave pauses for a moment, thinks, and then he asks:
"Wouldn't it make more sense to kill her?"
