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Work jokes

The worst part about working for the department of unemployment is when you get fired, you still have to show up the next day.

Every time I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.

There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, so I unplug them.

I got written up on "Take Your Daughter To Work Day." Apparently, it only applies to daughters who are alive.

My best friend is transgender; she transitioned from a man into a woman. I think it's courageous of her to take a pay cut like that.

I remember my first day back when working at a camp. I was so surprised when the trains arrived.

Why do people hit their electronics when they don’t work?

You keep the tradition of hitting black things.

How are Black people like communism?

Because they’ll never work, but some of them are willing to give it a shot.

I bought my fat wheelchair son a treadmill for his birthday, then that big brainless special motherfucker cried over it and threw a fit cuz his fat special ass couldn't get up out of his wheelchair and said for Jesus to raise him up and give him working and movable legs.

A buddy and I checked out some books from a local library. When we returned them, he said, "Your sister works the returns, right?" I told him, "Yes, she does, and she will be here in about five minutes." He said, "Why don’t we put a cookbook in the women’s sports section?" I told him, "I love it!" So I picked out a Reese Witherspoon book.

A husband comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network. The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can’t cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can’t fuck."

Why did Daveon get fired from his job at the orange juice factory? Because he couldn't concentrate.