Work jokes
How do you make a dishwasher work again?
Smack her ass and say "get back to work!"
Why did the person get fired from the calendar factory?
Because they took a day off.
I want to write some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them works.
Bro, you ever think while driving the moped why they call it a footrest when the foot never lets it rest? The foot is working harder than the engine. You push, push, but still go the same speed like a turtle with a bad mood during a rabbit race...
What do you call a rapper who works at the BANK?
Lil Teller.
I hate my job—all I do is crush cans all day. It’s soda pressing.
Did you know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die? They dilate.
Why did the dwarf work at Tesco?
Because every little bit helps!
Theory is when you know everything but nothing works.
Practice is when everything works but no one knows why.
In our lab, theory and practice are combined: Nothing works and no one knows why.
Why don’t some couples go to the gym?
Because some relationships don’t work out.
You look good with anything, but nothing works too.
There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. I love working at an orphanage.
Whenever I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.
There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, and it can be quite annoying, making it hard for the patients to sleep, so I unplug them.
My boss said “dress for the job you want, not for the job you have.” So I went in as Batman.
💪 💪 🏋️♂️ What do you get when you cross a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a bukkake slut, and a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a sex worker?
Cum Junkie.
What do Black people and chains have in common? Both work better with chains on them?
What does the long distance call and a Black person have in common?
They both don’t work.
I have some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.
The worst part about working for the department of unemployment is when you get fired, you still have to show up the next day.
Every time I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.
There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, so I unplug them.