What's the difference between a hooker and Jesus?
Their face when you nail them!
So a kid was crying...I asked him what was wrong
I LOVE WORKING AT AN ORPHANAGE!!!
I used to work for a company called 69, my friend took over my position.
I was working for Space X. I was instructed to control a satellite's orbit rotation when suddenly the screen went black. I investigated and found out one of Penaldos penalty had hit and destroyed the satellite. Shame on you Penaldo for ruining my dream job!
A teacher is teaching a class algebra. Timmy you've worked out it is ak but what is 59 minis 12. Timmy shakes his head not knowing the teacher asks how about ak 49 minus 2? Timmy replies with um... The teacher becomes frustrated and yells What comes after ak Timmy!? The white kid at the back stands shouts 47 and pulls the trigger.
Women be like equal rights equal pay, then decide that they don't want to do labour intensive jokes.
Why are the towers working out? They have big thighs!
She said you can twerk so I put her in a tractor and put her to work, she got mad at me and said "there's no good men" but I gave her a kob and equal pay!
Bick: Jesus isn't real. Ron: Yes he is. Bick: Prove it, bitch. Ron: Cussing is a in. Open the curtains. Bick: Wh- Ron: JUST DO IT, DAMMIT.
The sunlight shone through the window, landing on Ron and Bick. Both of them died and went to hell.
Ron: Fuck you, Jesus. Bick: Told you Jesus was real. Satan: Get to work, slaves.
Moral of the story: Stay off the marijuana.
If your parachute doesn't work, don't worry. You have the rest of your life to figure it out.
How do you make a body disappear? You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in ground and putting dirt over them is alot of hard work!
Psa im joking and dont condone these actions.
I wanted to bomb a restaurant so i went in there with a bomb...but the bomb got diffused and did not work . I asked a person standing nearby i said. "" hey do you know how to fix this bomb so i can blow up this place? "" He gave me a book. It was the quran I said what the hell is that..! He said, " this is the official manual for bomb making."
Little boy: Momma Mom: Yes my dear Little boy: One day I wanna work in McDonald's Mom: Why!? Little boy: Just to see if there ice cream machine is actually broken
Why couldn’t the peanut finish the project? Work came to a grinding halt.
Have u heard off the work called ligma balls
The twin towers are just like my mom and dad, they went to work and never came back
Yo mama so fat that when she saw Thanos and he tried to snap her out of existence it didn't work and he said man I quit.
A magic genie tells Tom,"I can make anything of yours disappear!" Tom:[raises his mug]: Okay,get rid of my tea. Genie:poof! om:it didn't work.
dam this computers stop working its got autism
Man: I'm here for the job interview Employer: Oh good, good. Sit down. We don't get many people for the interviews. Man: Just anywhere? Employer: Yeah, make yourself comfortable. Jackson, right? Man: Yeah that's me. (Shakes hands and sits back down) Employer: So what makes you eligible for the job, Jackson? Man: Well, I'm really good at capturing the perfect shot and angle. it really takes dedication to do this type of job. Concentration and willpower, sir. Employer: I like you already, you're hired! Man: Wow thanks, sir. I know i won't do you wrong. I'll work hard for this job! Employer: You start now! Your first person is a man named John F Kennedy. Man: What? You want me to just take pictures of him during the parade? Employer: No. Man: This... This is a photography job right? Employer: No... this is a job employment for man hunting.
