Work jokes
Yo, Dad is so skinny, he doesn't work out enough.
Kiwi's forehead is so big when he leaves to go to work he has to use a sunroof to drive. 😏
A man was shaving in the bathroom when all of a sudden Bubba, the boy he payed to mow his lawn, comes in to take a piss. The man can't help but look over his shoulder and he is surprised at how well endowed he is, and he asks: "Bubba, what's your secret?"
Bubba replies: "Well, every night before I get in bed with a woman I whack my dick on the bedpost three times. It works, and it sure impresses the girls!"
The man was excited at this easy suggestion and decided to try it that very night, before he went to bed with his wife. So he got to bed and whacked his dick on the bedpost three times and the wife wakes up and says "Bubba, is that you?"
Why is being an electrician the easiest job in the world? It's literally light work.
Why does the military pick orphans as fighter pilots?
Because homing missiles don't work on them.
Errrrrrrrrr my spine doesn't work.
Eeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
My family is lucky I was born so smart. Every time my Dad is struggling at work, he always turns to me when he needs to get ahead.
Dad's secretary left her position, he told me I could take it if I want it. He also told me the job pays well but there is a lot to catch up on. He kept me under the pump all week.
When I saw your hairline, I thought you worked at McDonald’s.
Why does Zac say he works at McDonald's? Because Aaron go errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Why did the man get fired from work? Because he took two days off in February.
Hey girl, are you my boss? 'Cause you just gave me a raise.
I found an alien in my backyard. I put him to work. He went to a farm, and I never saw him again. Moments later, he is on the Daily Planet acting as a reporter. A green rock smashed my house. I called him back, and he passed out.
I remarked, "You lazy!"
I bought a silencer for my gun, but I don't think it works.
My victims still scream.
What day is Labor Day?
It's the day mommies have their babies.
My dad may be working, but the coping mechanisms sure aren't!
I saw a kid in the yard and I asked where are your parents.
Then I got fired from the orphanage.
Why does the army take orphans as fighter jet pilots?
Because homing missiles don’t work on them.
I saw a little kid crying because he was lost. I asked him, "Where are your parents?"
God, I love working in an orphanage!
What’s an emo kid's favorite wood working tool? A chop saw!