Work jokes

What’s the best cure for not wanting to go to work?

Suicide.

Suicide won't work, I'm already dead inside.

I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said, "What happened to all the parents?" She sounded so confused, so I told her, "It's only yours, kid, they left you on purpose." She cried. I felt bad for a second and thought, oh well, time to get back to my job at the orphanage.

Imagine working at the World Trade Center, only for Osama bin Laden to call and ask if he could crash at your place.

Therapy - Expensive - Years of hard work - Emotionally draining - Tough to find

Screaming in the woods - Free - Immediate relief - Scares hunters enough to leave, therefore saving innocent animals - Potential to make friends with people who are also screaming in the woods.

They say the first time doesn't work, third time's the charm. Ha, not!

What does a disabled disco play?

"When your legs don’t work like they used to before."

I saw your mom at work the other night. She was talking about how good she was doing.

Hands down, best $20 blowjob ever.

Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living?

"Prostitutes love their jobs; they're always having a blast!"

September 11th. #BringYourPlaneToWorkDay

I copied my friend's work. It's not like the teacher can tell my parents.

I used to work at a T-shirt factory before the company folded.

Rape isn't a joke.

It's a type of way of making friends and to mate with other women.

It's a way of art, and works on anybody!

Like this if you agree.

I saw a little girl crying, and I said, "Where are your parents?" That day, I got fired from the orphanage. 🤪

I would make a joke about 9/11, but my career would crash and burn.

I was doing a magic show. I tried to make a bunny disappear, but it didn’t work.

I walked outside in shame. I looked up and realised the towers had disappeared!!!!

I teach orphans.

But the problem is I can't give them homework.

I asked, "Where are your parents?" and oh god, I love working at an orphanage.

What happens when you work in the Twin Towers? It connects to airplane WiFi.