Word

Word Jokes

Grandfather

I will never forget my grandfather's last words:

"Can you hold the ladder correctly, damn it!"

Smell

Obama: It smells like UpNigga in here...

Trump: What's UpNigga?

Obama: Omg did you say the n word?? Die!!!

Girl

A girl's pussy is a muff, and when we have something against our mouths, they say our voice is muffled, so do I think the origin of the word "muffled" is talking while eating muff?

Emo

Why do they call it emotion when the root word is emo, but emos don't show emotion?

Ex

When you have an ex, you will notice that the word "ex" is short for "executed," so that's there for yous.

Mom

Johnny: Why do cuss words exist?

Mom: That's not something you should think about right now. I'll tell you when you're older.

|| 20 YEARS LATER ||

Johnny: Mom, now can you tell me why cuss words exist?

Mom: Because some people invented them so that they could use them when something annoying happened to them.

Johnny: Damn, Mom, you shoulda told me that when I was still seven 'cause now I really feel like that person.

Definition

The teacher was asking some of her students the meanings of words.

"Sally, can you tell me what 'beautiful' means?"

Sally: "You..."

Teacher: "Aww! How nice! But next time, say the actual definition. Now, can someone tell me what 'malicious' means?"

Andrew: "A dangerous person and/or virus."

Teacher: "Great job, Andrew! Now, what does 'fat' mean? Johnny?"

Johnny: "A pig."

Teacher: "Could you tell me the actual defini- "

Johnny: "In other words, the person who last spoke to me!"

Neighbor

"This morning, I came out my front door to see my neighbor frantically trying to scrub off the word "PEDO" that had been spray-painted on his front window."

"What's been going on, John?" I asked.

"Fucking kids," came his mumbled reply.

The dirty bastard!

Africa

Africa spelled backwards is Acirfa, which means absolutely nothing. But Acirfa spelled backwards is Africa, which is a word.