Why jokes
Why did Steven Hawking only tell one-liners?
Because he couldn't do standup.
Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine. But why did seven eat nine? Because seven knew you had to have three squared meals a day.
Why did the cantaloupe đ jump into the pool?
It wanted to become a watermelon đ.
If some girls are vegan, then why do they suck dick?
People complain we are overpopulated.
Well, then if we committed suicide, then why do they be sad? It's one less person to think about. Why complain about it when in the end we become sad people?
Memes
Why did the toilet roll roll down the hill? To get to the bottom!
My pregnant wife said we were gonna name the kid Digiorno. She wouldn't tell me why until she got an abortion and told me, "It's not delivery, it's Digiorno."
Why was 6 afraid to go camping with 7?
Because 7 wanted to bring two knives for survival, but 6 secretly knew that 7 hated him, and didnât have benign intentions.
Read this out loud to yourself and itâll make sense. ;)
Why did the woman want a boyfriend at least 2 đŠ¶ taller?
So she could feel like a little girl and fulfill her rape fantasy.
Why did the farmer name his pig Ink?
Because he kept on running out of the pen.
Why was Sally at the hospital after her parents left? Because they put her up for adoption.
Why did the feminist cross the road?
To suck my dick!
Why do orphans love boomerangs?
Because they come back.
Why can't homosexuals get car insurance?
They've been rear-ended too many times.
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
"But why?" they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
Why can't religious women be raped? Because they are taught to never say no!
Three blonde sisters die and are told by an angel that in order for them to go to heaven they have to pass all 100 steps. But each step has a joke, each joke gets funnier and funnier. And in order to pass them all, you can't laugh at any joke or else you go to hell. The blonde girls accept the offer.
So the angel begins telling them the jokes. One of the girls laughs at the 3rd step. The second blonde laughs halfway there. Finally, the last blonde was at the 100th step. The angel said, "This is the last step. If you laugh you will go straight to hell with your sisters and if you don't you can pass." The blonde agrees and the angel starts to tell the joke, "What do you ca..." Out of nowhere the blonde starts bursting out laughing. "Why are you laughing? I haven't even finished the joke yet!" The blonde replies, "I just got the first joke!"
Why did lil Susie fall off the swing? She didnât have any arms.
Knock, knock. Whoâs there? Not lil Susie.
I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I donât understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, "whatâs so sad?" and she said, "What do you think was running through these kidâs head before they died?" I replied, "probably a bullet." She gasped and said, "do you have any idea how insensitive that is? What do you think is running through their parentâs heads?" I said "probably all the money they're losing from this funeral."
I told the judge I thought she was unconscious before she woke up crying. The judge asked: "Why didn't you drug her again so she would forget?"