I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don’t understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, "what’s so sad?" and she said, "What do you think was running through these kid’s head before they died?" I replied, "probably a bullet." She gasped and said, "do you have any idea how insensitive that is? What do you think is running through their parent’s heads?" I said "probably all the money they're losing from this funeral."
Why Jokes
I told the judge I thought she was unconscious before she woke up crying. The judge asked: "Why didn't you drug her again so she would forget?"
Why do orphans love having sex?
Because they can finally call somebody "daddy."
Why did Helen Keller wear skin tight pants?
So you could read her lips.
Teacher: Why did the skeleton know the weather outside?
Student: 'Cause he could feel it in his bones.
Teacher: No, he read the weather report, you fucking idiot.
Why did the orphan not have a girlfriend?
Because he thought that she would leave him too.
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
Because she's a woman.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't ever find home.
Why did Joey drop his ice cream?
He was hit by a truck. (Don't worry, the truck was fine.)
Father: I’m taking your toys to the orphanage.
Child: But why?
Father: So you won’t be bored. You’re going to need them there.
Why did Hitler stop playing Golf?
He kept getting stuck in the Bunker.
An orphan goes to a doctor.
Doctor: "Sorry, I can't help you."
Orphan: "But why?"
Doctor: "I'm a family doctor."
"F" stand for family, that's why "orphan" is spelled with "ph."
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one they can call "daddy."
Why didn't Logan Paul high five the Asian man? Because he loves to leave Asians hanging.
Why is a sick person and California similar? They tend to burn up.
"Why is it that orphans only play tennis?""That's the only love they can get..."
Why did the man say chickens were lucky?
Because they get killed and eaten.
Why was the astronaut washing her hands?
She was getting ready to eat launch.
Why were the Twin Towers mad? Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
