Why jokes
Why did the rapper go to the optometrist?
Because he needed to improve his RAP VISION.
Why were the rappers late for their flight?
They forgot to pack.
Why do you Scotchmen wear kilts?
Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.
Why can’t you take an Asian guy golfing? Because you can’t drive. Every time he does, he tries to put a hole-in-one.
Do you know why they call me battery saver?
I get turned on when it’s below 10%.
Memes
Why did the frog take the bus to work?
His car got toad.
In life, some people have it harder than others.
That's why Viagra exists.
I don’t know why I go to the gym. Being healthy is dying as fast as possible, and I really want to speed that shit up.
Why did the emo kids stop going to their favorite tree?
It died before them.
Why can’t Homer Simpson bring his family into Moe’s Tavern?
Because there’s a bartender in there.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his wife changed the WiFi password, because he was having an affair with his shoulder.
Why was Trump banned from music class? He kept putting his finger on D minor.
What was Clinton encouraged to get in college? A minor.
Q. Why aren't midget jokes funny?
A. They always seem to punch down.
Kurt Cobain said he wished he was gay.
That's why he married Courtney Love.
Why does a kid never come home after a fight with their parents? Because they never found the key to the house again.
Why do leftists strive for a literate population?
So people can understand their wall of text memes.
Why is it so cheap to throw a party at a haunted house? Because the ghosts bring all the boos.
I don't get why bakers aren't wealthier. They make so much dough.
Why was 2019 afraid of 2020?
Because they had a fight, and 2021.
A doctor walks into the room and tells his patient, "I have some bad news for you. You really have to stop masturbating."
The man looks aghast and says, "Oh my God, doc, why?!"
The doctor replies, "I'm trying to examine you."