Why jokes

Pirate

  • Why does it take so long for the pirates to learn the alphabet?

    Because they spend years on C! Pirate: A, B, sea?

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  • Candy

  • Boy: "Mister, can I get candy?"

    Mister: No, you shit head.

    Boy: Why? :(

    Mister: Because I'm not your dad.

    Crime

  • Me: 911, I just killed someone.

    Cops: Cool, we will not come.

    Me: Why?

    Cops: Don't admit a crime.

    Phones: *Bang Bang*

    Me: Well, that was 2 crimes done.

    Chili

  • Why did Kristen Stewart fart on the set of Charlie's Angels? Because she ate too much damn chili for breakfast I made for her. I just forgot to put my foot in it.