"Fish, why you no fly?"
"I don't like being caught naked."
Why Jokes
Why did the chicken explode? Because he pooped his pants!
Why was the toilet angry?
Because everyone was pooping in his mouth :>
Why did the chicken cross the road? To poo in the toilet.
I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don’t understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, "what’s so sad?" and she said, "What do you think was running through these kid’s head before they died?" I replied, "probably a bullet." She gasped and said, "do you have any idea how insensitive that is? What do you think is running through their parent’s heads?" I said "probably all the money they're losing from this funeral."
What day can you have sex on?
Answer: Wednesday. Why? Because it's hump day.
The worst joke ever.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.
Why was 9 thankful to 6? Because 6 8 7 2.
Why do nuns walk in groups?
So one “nun” can keep an eye on the other “nun” just to make sure that she isn’t getting "nun".
Why did Spider-Man decide to buy a laptop?
So that he could design his own “website.”
Why did the man laugh when he only had just one nickel and one penny in his pocket?
He had a 6 cents of humor.
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the “shell” station.
Why do you have to wipe yourself with toilet paper? Because bugs can crawl, eat your poop, and drink your pee!
I don't know why my boyfriend's dad doesn't like me. Maybe because we had sex?
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.
As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"
Why did the orphan have an iPhone X? Because it didn't have the home button.
Jim's car is swerving all over the road, so a cop pulls him over. "Step out of the car," says the cop. "I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test." "I can't," Jim responds. "You see, I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack." "Alright," says the cop, "then you're going to have to take a blood test." "Can't do that either," Jim responds. "I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won't stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death." "Ok," the cop answers, "then I will need a urine sample." "Sorry," says Jim, "I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low." "Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me." "Can't do that either," responds Jim. "Why not?" demanded the exasperated cop. "Well, because I'm drunk!"
Why did the egg fall off the motorbike?
He was shite.
Your mum is so smart, but she still can’t figure out why she had you.
Why can’t orphans live?
They don’t have parents.
Why do you have to watch your back at NASA? They want to probe Uranus.
