Why jokes
I've got not much of anything to be honest.
Been in special classes in school.
Not liked by people.
Only relationship I've ever had and she cheated on me.
31 years old and never had sex, pathetic.
Not very smart.
Don't look good.
Hate myself more than anything.
Been a failure at everything in life.
Probably be alone forever.
People treat me like crap.
Can't do anything right.
And the list goes on and on.
So the question is why haven't I killed myself yet? The answer is, I forget. I'm a extreme procrastinator, keep just putting it off because I'll probably just fuck it up anyway.
Why can’t Chinese people play cricket?
Because they ate all the bats!
I've always been suicidal. Some might say, "Why haven't I actually done the act?" I'll just say, well, I hate myself too much so I thought I'd stay around for the punishment of staying alive.
Why do emos like yo-yo's? Cos they get strangled by the string.
Few jokes (sorry if they have already been used).
1 I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
2 Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always has a great fall.
3 Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks.
4 It's always windy in a sports arena. All those fans.
5 What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!
6 Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your type here."
7 What's the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler.
8 Why were they called the Dark Ages? Because there were lots of knights.
Why do people want to jump off buildings?
Because they want to become Superman.
Why don’t orphans have parents?
'Cause they were abandoned.
Why would an orphan kill his family? Because they weren't there.
Why were the Twin Towers upset? They ordered Domino's but got jets.
Why can't orphans have iPhones?
Because they can't find the home button.
Why were ET's eyes so big?
Because he saw the phone bill.
Why can’t orphans have sex?
They have no one to call “daddy.”
Why doesn’t Helen Keller go to the optometrist?
Because she’s dead.
Why doesn’t Helen Keller go to the beach?
Because she can’t hear the sea.
Why did the question come to life? Answer: The adding, subtracting, times, dividing by, and equals signs came to life and squished pages.
Why can’t orphans work at SC Johnson?
Because it’s a family company.
Why did the orphan jump into the burning building?
It was too cold because they did not have a home.
Why can’t orphans do homeschool? They don’t have a home to do so.
Why did the duck cross the road to get to his quack dealer?
Coach: Why can't orphans play baseball?
Me: Because they can't get a homerun.