Why jokes

Why doesn’t the US want to play chess with the UK?

The US is already down 2 towers, and the UK has an unkillable queen.

Why did people invent glow in the dark condoms?

So gay people can have lightsaber duels.

This one is for Gwen, I'm sorry people are so mean to you.

All the big cats gathered for a game of poker. Why did the tiger lose?

Because one of his opponents kept on lion. Another had a puma-nent poker face. But the real problem was the cheetah.

Little Johnny brought a baseball bat to school.

The teacher asked why he had one. He said, "I need it to beat up the principal!"

When the principal found out what Little Johnny had said, well, let’s just say Little Johnny didn’t need no baseball bat to kill him.

Why do blondes make bad bank robbers?

Because they tie up the safe and blow the guards.

When you split Uranus in half, it is "ur-anus." That's why it has a butts joke. Weird.

Why did Beyonce say "to the left to the left"?

Because women don't have rights.