Why did the kid drop his ice cream?
He got hit by a bus.
A teacher in Scunthorpe asks a class what their favorite football team is, saying, "Raise your hand if it is Scunthorpe." Every student but one raised their hand. The teacher asks, "Why don't you support Scunthorpe?" The child answers, "My parents support Grimsby, and so do I." The teacher comes back with, "Why are you copying your parents? What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad a druggie?" The child answers, "Then I'd support Scunthorpe like you dirty bastards!"
What's white and annoying at breakfast? An avalanche.
Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She got hit by an axe.
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.
Why can't orphans stand Darth Vader?
Because he's their father.
Why couldn’t Helen Keller scream when she fell off the cliff?
Because she was wearing mittens.
Why did the people get a chicken?
To make eggs.
Why did the cats go in the litterbox?? To take a poop!
Why did Dad say no to the pool? Because he can't swim.
Why did the grandpa leave the house to go to the grocery store?
To get the ice cream for the grandma.
Why is a wet pavement like playing music?
If you don't C sharp, you'll B flat.
Why don't humans eat raw meat? Because they use technology to cry about raw meat is good. Go and leave, bro, I'm going to eat sushi.
Why are basketball courts slippery?
Because the players dribble on it.