Why can't orphans play baseball?
They have no home to run to.
Why is Jesus in pieces?
Because a one man band is Nine Inch Nails.
Why was the emo jealous of the orange?
It came precut.
Why does Michael Jackson like twenty-eight year olds?
'Cause there are twenty of them.
Why are the Twin Towers mad?
They ordered burgers, but what they got was plane.
I don't know why, but every 911 joke I've heard always comes crashing down.
Why did Queen Elizabeth II die? She forgot to heal after all those storms.
Me: Why can't orphans play baseball? Friend: Why? Me: Because they can't find home.
One morning a dad was sitting and watching TV. His daughter comes in and says, "Dad! Why is my name Rose?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were born a rose petal fell on your head." "Cool," Rose said.
The second daughter walked in and said, "Dad! Why is my name Daisy?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Awesome," Daisy said.
The third daughter came in and said, "DuUuBuDuRDeEDeRdUuUuU!!!" "SHUT UP CINDER BLOCK!!!"
You know why Santa's saying is "Ho Ho Ho?"
How else is he supposed to give boys and girls a baby brother or sister for Christmas?
One morning a dad was sitting and watching TV.
His daughter comes in and says, "Dad! Why is my name Rose?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head." "Cool," Rose said.
The second daughter walked in and said, "Dad! Why is my name Daisy?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Awesome," Daisy said.
The third daughter came in and said, "DuUuUDeEeEeDrrrrrrrrr!!!" "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!!!"