Whos jokes
If an orphan wants food, who does it? No one. Everybody just watches him starve because they couldn't find his parents.
When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
If you play the movie "Jaws" in reverse, it's a heartwarming story about a shark who gives arms and legs to disabled people.
What do you say to a person who got his whole left side cut off? "Are you all right?!"
Who makes the best anteaters?
Uncle's... (Aunt eaters)
Memes
Knock knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Not your parents.
What do you call an injured person who doesn't want to play a game with you? A sore loser.
Confucius say, man who go through turn table is going to Bangkok.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms.
Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Atch.
Atch who?
Sorry you are sneezing. Have you got a cold?
There once was a man named Dave who dug up a prostitutes grave, she was as moldy as shit and missing a tit, but think of all the money he saved
Did you hear about the lesbians who are suing their contractor?
He used nails when they wanted tongue and groove.
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 4
LIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.
DISLIKE: When you’re hiding from the school shooter next to people who made fun of you for having an Android: “HEY SIRI”
Vote for the better joke. Semifinals are later or tomorrow.
Why do black people call each other brothers? Because they don't know who their fathers are.
Me: Knock knock.
Person: Who's there?
Me: No-one.
Person: No-one who?
Me:...........
Will you remember me in 7 years?
(Yes)
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Hey guys, it's Hailey here.
I'ma start off with henlo ;-;
I know you guys aren't going to believe me because of the assholes who were faking to be me, but if you can try to believe me, I'll explain.
So, Jake, we can't really be together anymore, since we no longer can chat. I'm so sorry.
Basically, my parents caught us on here as you realized. Yayyyy.
I don't have time to say anything else. So I've gotta go, but thankyou guys for everything you did for me.
Also, you won't get any response from me so yea. So sorry guys ;-;
There was a boy who owned a dog, who was walking while wearing headphones.
Upon entering a park, he saw a sign that read, "DOGS MUST HAVE LEAD". He continued into the park, and became immersed in the music.
After leaving the park 20 minutes later and turning around for the first time in a while to remove the lead, the sight of his now-dead, freshly-poisoned dog reminded him of the importance of heteronyms.
I was at my bank today waiting in a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady, who was trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla of yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?" The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations." The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too!"
Did you know that there is a new drug on the market for lesbians who are suffering from depression? It's called Trycoxagain.