Wheres

Wheres Jokes

Food

"Hey, I heard you were a bit down—where's John?"

"He died."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, but I got you food."

(After they eat) "Hey, how did John taste seasoned and cooked?"

Furniture

What did the parents rearrange the furniture to punish a child?

Guess he was a stupid blind motherfucker 🖕 that didn't even know how to use a cane to figure out where they put the furniture.

Muslim

Finally, some social platform where you can talk about Muslims and not get bombed.

Obv, unless you share your residence.

Ghost

I was in a haunted house today. Nothing scared me until I reached the last room, where I saw the scariest Halloween ghost I've ever seen. He took my pens and ghosted. I was told that I saw Pristiano Penaldo and I was lucky enough to see him because he performs once in a blue moon.

Man

Why did the blind man cross the road?

Don't ask me, he can't even see where he's going.

Channel

Where’s the English Channel?

Johnny: “I don’t know. My television doesn’t pick it up.”

Language

The teacher was terrified to hear Little Johnny swear.

“I never want you to use language like that again. Where on earth did you pick it up?”

“From my father,” said Johnny.

“Well, he should be ashamed of himself. And it’s no reason for you to talk like that. You don’t even know what it means.”

“I do,” said Johnny. “It means the car won’t start.”

Demon Slayer

My teacher: If you could go anywhere, where would you go?

Me: Demon Slayer.

My teacher: Why?

The quiet kid: TO GET EATEN BY A DEMON OR BECOME ONE!!!

Milk

You wonder where my dad is.

Meanwhile, Dad: It's good to be at milk island!

Twin Towers

Why were the Twin Towers workers disappointed? Because they ordered a ham and cheese, but all they got was a plane.

Pizzeria

"Hi, this is Pete's pizzeria and abortion clinic, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce."

Orphan

I saw an orphan in the grocery store and asked him, "Where's your mom?" and he cried. Why?

Orphan

I was walking till I saw a kid sitting on the street. I walked over there and said, "Where are your parents?" He cried even more.

Oh, I just love talking to orphans.