I went home to my girlfriend with milk! She said, "Oh thank you honey!"
Then I got a call from a girl named Melissa. She called and said, "Steven, where the hell have you been? It's been two weeks and you still haven't come back yet?"
Where does a cow take his date?
Answer: to the moooooovies
Me: "Cya"
Mom: "Where ya going?"
Me: "The orphanage to make yo mama jokes."
Mum: ...
Where do you bring a canoe that doesn’t feel good?... The boat dock.
If lint comes from pockets, where does a cockroach come from?
There was a little kid crying in the park today. I asked him where his parents were. Now I realize, man, I love my job.
Were you bought on a highway . Because thats where most acidents happen
Where do surfers go to school?
Boarding school.
"Hey, I heard you were a bit down—where's John?"
"He died."
"Oh, I'm so sorry, but I got you food."
(After they eat) "Hey, how did John taste seasoned and cooked?"
Where do spiders seek health advice? WebMD.
What did the parents rearrange the furniture to punish a child?
Guess he was a stupid blind motherfucker 🖕 that didn't even know how to use a cane to figure out where they put the furniture.
Finally, some social platform where you can talk about Muslims and not get bombed.
Obv, unless you share your residence.
I was in a haunted house today. Nothing scared me until I reached the last room, where I saw the scariest Halloween ghost I've ever seen. He took my pens and ghosted. I was told that I saw Pristiano Penaldo and I was lucky enough to see him because he performs once in a blue moon.
Why did the blind man cross the road?
Don't ask me, he can't even see where he's going.
Where’s the English Channel?
Johnny: “I don’t know. My television doesn’t pick it up.”
The teacher was terrified to hear Little Johnny swear.
“I never want you to use language like that again. Where on earth did you pick it up?”
“From my father,” said Johnny.
“Well, he should be ashamed of himself. And it’s no reason for you to talk like that. You don’t even know what it means.”
“I do,” said Johnny. “It means the car won’t start.”
Where does the orphan go when he's done with school? To the cemetery.
My teacher: If you could go anywhere, where would you go?
Me: Demon Slayer.
My teacher: Why?
The quiet kid: TO GET EATEN BY A DEMON OR BECOME ONE!!!
You wonder where my dad is.
Meanwhile, Dad: It's good to be at milk island!
Where did the pirate pay his taxes?
Aye, Argh, Sea.
