When jokes
I started crying when my dad was cutting onions.
Onions was such a good dog.
Yo mama is so stupid, when she took a trip to Disneyland and a sign on the highway said “Disney left,” she went home.
Last night I was watching a Scotland Christmas movie...
And the part when Mary tells Joseph that she is pregnant, Joseph was surprised, and he exclaimed, "Jesus Christ!!!" I immediately stopped watching and changed the channel.
I got introduced to a dwarf at a nudist colony the other day.
When we shook, the pleasure was all mine.
Your mama so fat, when she asked for a water bed they put a blanket over the Pacific Ocean.
When the school shooter finds you and you think you’re gonna die, but he remembers the time you gave him a pen.
When you get to feel a dick in you, then suck bro, all your stress [goes] out the window.
I don't always like to tell dwarf jokes. But when I do, I like to keep them short.
What did the walrus say when they lost the remote?
"Walrus the remote!"
Good night, sleep tight, wake up bright in the morning light, to do what's right, with all your might.
Jonny went to school one day, and later that day his dad got a call saying he needed to pick up his son because he had had sex with a teacher. When Jonny got home, his dad was so happy he went out to the store and bought him a bike. When they bought the bike, Jonny was offered to ride the bike, but he declined it and replied, "My butt still hurts."
When the school shooter makes the emo kid hang himself and the autistic kid thinks it's a piñata: 🤪🏏
What happens when skeletons score points in a game?
They get a bone-us.
As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers.
Superman and Flash were in the living room pounding back a few beers. Flash says to Superman, "I bet you can fly into Wonder Woman's bedroom and get the best pussy of your life." So he does it. When he goes back to Flash, Superman says, "Man, that was great, but my ass kinda burns."
What's the best time to hang out with an Indian? When your nose is clogged.
When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”
What happened to the leper when he accidentally walked into the screen door?
He strained himself.
Stephen Hawking was in a house fire. When he got out, people called him "Hot Wheels."
Yo mama is so fat, when she sat on Walmart, she lowered the prices.