Wheelchair

Wheelchair jokes

Girlfriend

My girlfriend broke up with me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back!

Charge

What does Stephen Hawking and a prostitute have in common?

They both charge.

Stephen Hawking

Stephen Hawking got an engine swap with a Nissan 350Z, and they said his wheelchair wasn't street legal :/

Man

What do you call a physically handicapped heterosexual man that is in a wheelchair and German?

A physically handicapped promiscuous heterosexual man that is German.

Man

What do you call physically handicapped, homophobic, heterosexual men and women in wheelchairs?

Mixed nuts.

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  • Girlfriend

    I broke up with my girlfriend and stole her wheelchair.

    Guess who likes vegetables now?

    Kid

    What do you call an autistic kid going down the stairs in a wheelchair?

    Hot Wheels!

    Son

    I bought my fat wheelchair son a treadmill for his birthday, then that big brainless special motherfucker cried over it and threw a fit cuz his fat special ass couldn't get up out of his wheelchair and said for Jesus to raise him up and give him working and movable legs.

    Difference

    What's the difference between Chaplin and a politician in a wheelchair?

    Chaplin does stand-up comedy, and the politician does sit-down... comedy.

    Kid

    What does a kid do when he's bored and he's sitting? He puts wheels on the chair and makes it a wheelchair.