Wheelchair jokes

Which is the odd one out? FISH, SNAKE, STEPHEN HAWKING, HORSE.

Horse, of course — the rest can't walk.

At least Stephen Hawking could go on a pub crawl.

It's true, you know. Stephen Hawking has been up more ramps than Evel Knievel.

Some people like Stephen Hawking jokes, but he will never be a stand-up comedian.

What does it say on Stephen Hawking's headstone?

Roll In Peace.

Why did Stephen Hawking get sacked from his job?

Because he was always rolling in late.

When a sign says "Do Not Walk on the Grass," it does not apply to Stephen Hawking.

Hi. My name's Stephen Hawking. What's your disability?

Heard Stephen Hawking is in a new movie and that the theme tune is absolutely banging. Think the opening line goes something like, “They see me rolling, they hating.”

I pushed a handicapped orphan out of his wheelchair. Who is he gonna tell, his parents?

Why do you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?

Because once you're a fruit, you can't be a vegetable.

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Oh, wait, he doesn’t walk.

What’s the hardest part of a vegetable? The wheelchair.

Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?

Because there wasn’t a ramp.

Stephen Hawking is the fastest footballer ever--he could just charge up the Left Wing!

What was wrong with Stephen Hawking? His legs.

There's a new horror movie about Stephen Hawking.

It's called "Unplugged!"

Stephen Hawking couldn't make it to Heaven because there were stairs, so he rolled down to Hell.

I played piano at a Worthmore disabled elderly center. Then after I was done, I said, "How about you give me a standing ovation?"

I regret it to this day. Now I am forced to live here at Worthmore, and sit on my wheelchair, sad and lonely.

The real reason Steven Hawking died is he was drunk and tried to go down a flight of stairs.