Wheelchair jokes
I played piano at a Worthmore disabled elderly center. Then after I was done, I said, "How about you give me a standing ovation?"
I regret it to this day. Now I am forced to live here at Worthmore, and sit on my wheelchair, sad and lonely.
The real reason Steven Hawking died is he was drunk and tried to go down a flight of stairs.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and Rocket League? You can't stand up.
A guy in a wheelchair said, "I stand for Boris." But I think he meant he sat for Boris.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
The reason why Stephen Hawking died is because he tried to overclock his wheelchair.
Why did Steven Hawking die?
A quad rasher ran him over.
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back!
There was a kid in a wheelchair. I put him on fire and called him Hot Wheels.
What does Stephen Hawking and a prostitute have in common?
They both charge.
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
What’s better than winning the Paralympics wheelchair race?
Walking.
Why could the zombie not clap? Because it was dead, duh!
Stephen Hawking got an engine swap with a Nissan 350Z, and they said his wheelchair wasn't street legal :/
What do you call a physically handicapped heterosexual man that is in a wheelchair and German?
A physically handicapped promiscuous heterosexual man that is German.
He had a song named after him: "They see me rolling."
Stephen Hawking is a real stand up guy, out-standing performance.
What do you call physically handicapped, homophobic, heterosexual men and women in wheelchairs?
Mixed nuts.
Who did Stephen call when he crashed?... The geek squad.
I broke up with my girlfriend and stole her wheelchair.
Guess who likes vegetables now?