Wheelchair Jokes

Why could the zombie not clap? Because it was dead, duh!

Stephen Hawking got an engine swap with a Nissan 350Z, and they said his wheelchair wasn't street legal :/

What do you call a physically handicapped heterosexual man that is in a wheelchair and German?

A physically handicapped promiscuous heterosexual man that is German.

He had a song named after him: "They see me rolling."

Stephen Hawking is a real stand up guy, out-standing performance.

What do you call physically handicapped, homophobic, heterosexual men and women in wheelchairs?

Mixed nuts.

Who did Stephen call when he crashed?... The geek squad.

I broke up with my girlfriend and stole her wheelchair.

Guess who likes vegetables now?

What do you call an autistic kid going down the stairs in a wheelchair?

Hot Wheels!

I'm glad Stephen Hawking died because he was wheely wheely bad.

What does a kid do when he's bored and he's sitting? He puts wheels on the chair and makes it a wheelchair.

I asked this kid for a high five, but he could not reach my hand.

I saw some kids bullying a kid in a wheelchair. I grabbed the kid, pushed him down the stairs, and said, "GTA physics."

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food? His left shoulder.

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite robot? Him as his shoulder/wheelchair.

I got my son a bike for his birthday. The ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair all day crying.

What do you call a burning orphan in a wheelchair? Hot Wheels.

What hit the ground first, the orphan or the apple? The apple. The orphan never hit the ground.

Why are so many people making fun of people with wheelchairs?

Because they can’t stand up for themselves.

I bought my fat wheelchair son a treadmill for his birthday, then that big brainless special motherfucker cried over it and threw a fit cuz his fat special ass couldn't get up out of his wheelchair and said for Jesus to raise him up and give him working and movable legs.