The reason why I stopped eating salads was not to be unhealthy; it was so I don't need to eat the wheelchairs along with all those fucking vegetables.
What do you call a nut on a wheelchair?....A busted nut.
Someone threatened to break into my house, but I am in a wheelchair. I said sure, and I moved everything upstairs and sat on the stairs so he couldn’t steal anything.
Why did Stephen hawking die? His wife forgot to plug his wheelchair into the wall
Why did Timmy fall down the stairs?
Because he fell off his wheelchair.
Me: I want to be a stand-up comedian.
Friend: You have to be able to stand up.
To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket, "You can hide but you can't run."
What has 50 legs but can't walk?
25 disabled kids.
If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run"?
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
- They see me rolling.
I used to get pushed and called lazy in school.
Man, I loved that wheelchair.
Who is the best at musical chairs?
The kid in the wheelchair.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
Head, shoulders, screws, and bolts.
What do a shopping cart and a wheelchair have in common? They both carry vegetables.
When Steven Hawking realizes heaven is only a stairway away.
Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell? Because it's a stairway to heaven, not a ramp!
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? Because he can't do stand-up.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite childhood song? "The wheels on the chair go round and round....."
Did you hear that Stephen Hawking wrote a new book? It's called "Around The House in Eighty Days."
My gf dumped me, so I took her wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back?
