Wheelchair jokes
How can you tell when a cabbage is boiled?
The wheelchair floats to the top.
What do you call a nut on a wheelchair?....A busted nut.
Why couldn't Professor Xavier fight Magneto? Because he couldn't stand up for himself.
He told me that he was in a wheelchair, and I asked, "Oh, wheely?"
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"I'm still standing, yeah, yeah, yeah!" (from Elton John)
There is a young man smoking and a woman in a wheelchair. The woman says, "Why is a young man like you smoking?" The man turns around and says, "Why the fuck are you wearing trainers?"
So I got my son a trampoline for Christmas this year, and he was so ungrateful, like he just sat there crying in his wheelchair. What has this world come to?
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food? His left shoulder.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite robot? Him as his shoulder/wheelchair.
What shoe size is Stephen Hawking?
It doesn't matter—he can't walk anyway.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and his wheelchair?
At least his wheelchair can pull a woman.
Stand? Wait. No.
Hi. My name's Stephen Hawking. What's your disability?
My brother was stuck in a wheelchair after a motorbike accident. He became a swimming champion until I took the VR headset off.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
An RC-XD.
I threw a kid in a wheelchair into a fire... I called him hot wheels.
Why could the zombie not clap? Because it was dead, duh!
I told a kid in a wheelchair, "Use your nitro boosts!"
Me and my friends are going to create a Steps tribute band. We are all in wheelchairs, so we are going to be called "Ramps."
I bought my fat wheelchair son a treadmill for his birthday, then that big brainless special motherfucker cried over it and threw a fit cuz his fat special ass couldn't get up out of his wheelchair and said for Jesus to raise him up and give him working and movable legs.
When does Stephen Hawking cross the road?
When it says "DON'T WALK."