Wheelchair jokes
Me: I want to be a stand-up comedian.
Friend: You have to be able to stand up.
Why couldn't Professor Xavier fight Magneto? Because he couldn't stand up for himself.
What is a great 👍 for?
Fun.
What can you not ride with two wheelchairs? A burger 🍔 one wheelchair.
There are 4 people in a line. Three stand up and say "We are standing up for cancer," and then there's the one in the wheelchair.
I tried to make vegetable soup today, but the wheelchair didn't fit in the pot.
I bought my spoiled brother a trampoline for his birthday, but he decided to sit in his wheelchair like a little bitch.
I played piano at a Worthmore disabled elderly center. Then after I was done, I said, "How about you give me a standing ovation?"
I regret it to this day. Now I am forced to live here at Worthmore, and sit on my wheelchair, sad and lonely.
What's the best part of a vegetable? The wheelchair.
To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket, "You can hide but you can't run."
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
His wife forgot to plug his wheelchair into the wall.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she was in a wheelchair! 🤣🤣
Why do tables never need wheelchairs?
Because even without the ‘t’ they are still able.
What did Stephen Hawking's wife say to him having sex? "You're wheelie good at this!"
What does Stephen Hawking say after sex? That was wheely good.
Just a joke: When Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said, "It'll get better, just walk it off!"
What part of a vegetable can't you eat?
The wheelchair.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He rolled away and his charger unplugged.
Stephen Hawking listens to the song "I Am Still Standing" and cries to himself.
Why do priests like kids in wheelchairs? Because they can’t run.