Wheelchair jokes

I'm in a wheelchair, right, so I've tried everything but one stand up.

It didn't work.

My girlfriend broke up with me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back!

I bought my son a wheelchair for his birthday—turns out he couldn’t get in it.

What's the hardest part to eat of a vegetable?

The wheelchair.

How does Stephen Hawking have sex? Enter, backspace, enter, backspace, enter, backspace.

I bullied a kid in a wheelchair. I told him to stand up for himself.

My gf dumped me, so I took her wheelchair.

Guess who came crawling back?

Stephen Hawking shows up to a car meet-up.

I bet a disabled kid on a wheelchair that if he could catch me, I'd give him 1000 dollars. He said deal, and I went upstairs.

My friend was in a wheelchair, so I rolled him in fire. Now I call him Hot Wheels.

What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?

RC-XD

They found water on Mars. Mars:1 Africa:0

What do you get when you put a suicide bomber in a wheel chair? An RC-XD.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Orphans don't get picked.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

Apples actually get picked.

How am I an ableist? My ex-girlfriend was in a wheelchair, and we lived in the same old building with a broken elevator. I ended the relationship by moving to the 8th floor.

A guy in a wheelchair said, "I stand for Boris." But I think he meant he sat for Boris.

So I got my brother a jumping castle for his birthday. That bitch cried in his wheelchair.

My friend was on a wheelchair... he committed suicide yesterday. I remember when I met him last time, he told us a good joke and I appreciated him and told him to become a stand-up comedian.

What was wrong with Stephen Hawking? His legs.

What do you call having a 69 with a guy in a wheelchair?

MEALS ON WHEELS :-)

If you get pinched by a man in a wheelchair, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"