Wheelchair jokes

A guy in a wheelchair said, "I stand for Boris." But I think he meant he sat for Boris.

So I got my brother a jumping castle for his birthday. That bitch cried in his wheelchair.

My friend was on a wheelchair... he committed suicide yesterday. I remember when I met him last time, he told us a good joke and I appreciated him and told him to become a stand-up comedian.

What was wrong with Stephen Hawking? His legs.

What do you call having a 69 with a guy in a wheelchair?

MEALS ON WHEELS :-)

If you get pinched by a man in a wheelchair, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"

I got my son a trampoline for his birthday.

The ungrateful boy sat in his wheelchair the whole time.

I stole a wheelchair from a disabled kid. What is he going to do, stand up?

What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that does comedy?

Sit down comedy.

Me and my friends are going to create a Steps tribute band. We are all in wheelchairs, so we are going to be called "Ramps."

Why did the wheels not move on his wheelchair?

Because he had no legs.

So I left my mom with my baby, and I was terrified when I came back; the wheelchair was in the water.

So, Stephen Hawking walked into a bar—oh, wait a minute! Rewind!

So, Stephen Hawking rolled into a bar......

What do a shopping cart and a wheelchair have in common? They both carry vegetables.

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and Rocket League? You can't stand up.

What do you call physically handicapped, homophobic, heterosexual men and women in wheelchairs?

Mixed nuts.

What do you call a physically handicapped heterosexual man that is in a wheelchair and German?

A physically handicapped promiscuous heterosexual man that is German.

My son asked me what dark humor was, so I told him, "see that kid in the wheelchair, ask him to stand." He said, "But Dad I'm blind." Exactly.

What's it called if you give a kid in a wheelchair a ball? Rocket League.

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite song??

Rollin' and Controllin'.