Whats jokes
What did the cake say to the fork?
"Do you want a piece of me!!!"
Imagine if hitting the iceberg wasn't an accident and it was all just the sailors' fault like this:
Sailor 1: Hey Ron. Sailor 2: Yeah? Sailor 1: You see that iceberg over there? Sailor 2: Yeah. Sailor 1: You know what would be pretty funny?
Person: So, Jimmy, what do you do all day?
Jimmy Savile: Anyone who I can do.
What's the difference between intelligence and apathy?
I don't know! I don't care!
What's young, red, and has hot PTSD?
Prince Andrew's victims.
What's the difference between a school in Pakistan and an Al Qaeda base?
Not too sure. I just fly the drone.
What is a chicken's favorite day of the week? Fri-day.
What did the hairdresser say to the power line?
"Want a power cut?"
“What happens to an Asian man when he runs into a brick wall with an erection?”
“A broken nose.”
What's the difference between a gay man and a hairline?
The hairline is way straighter.
What do french fries 🍟 do when they meet? They ketchup.
What did Santa Claus get Paris Hilton for Christmas?
He raped her.
Q. What do you call a biracial kid in a vegetative state?
A. A mixed vegetable.
What's Al Qaeda's favorite football team?
New York Jets.
What did the hamster say to the penis? "Ha, you look just like me!"
What do you get when you cross a cow with a coffee bean grower?
De-calf!
If you’re bored, go punch an orphan. What are the parents gonna do?
If you're ever bored, just punch an orphan, because what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What’s the worst thing to do at a funeral?
The corpse.
My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one.
It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"